No one escapes painful losses in love, health, work or life. Yet no one has to suffer from the heartbreak and health consequences of major losses when you use the happiness techniques that help you find happiness, no matter what life throws at you.
In Part 1 you learned how to beat chronic stress, including breakup stress, before it rewires your brain and beats you, by using “Thankful Comparisons” and accepting reality. What if you’re still stuck in the self-torture of negative thinking? How do you get back to thoughts and activities that produce happiness?
Get the answers and action plan in highlights of my radio conversation on A Lasting Love with AllAboutHappiness.com founder, Edward Southwick, Jr. Ed is a financial and happiness planner who combines business consulting and happiness concepts to help you recover quickly from loss and gain even greater success, health and happiness.
HF: I’ve found that painful losses open the doorway to positive growth and change when you put loss into perspective. It’s hard to find the lessons in loss when you’re on your knees in pain and stuck in destructive habits, like negative thinking. How does taking effective ownership help you get unstuck?
ES: Effective ownership is focusing on what you do have. It’s waking up each morning and being thankful and appreciating everything you have. It’s really wanting what you do have and giving thanks for it, instead of focusing on what you’ve lost.
HF: You get more of what you focus on. So if you focus on what you’ve lost or lack, you get more feelings of loss and lack. When you focus on love that remains and love lessons you can learn from any loss, you grow more feelings of love and gratitude for your blessings and personal growth. I view taking effective ownership as taking 100 percent responsibility for what you did or failed to do that contributed to a breakup or any loss. When you learn the love lessons, you don’t have to repeat them. This clarity empowers us to make better choices next time.
ES: Different choices give you different results. Many people go into a relationship thinking someone will complete you. It’s better to be fully whole when you enter a relationship. If you’re incomplete, you’ll be clingy, needy, stressed. You’ll be happy only when you’re with your partner. There’s nothing attractive about that.
HF: What if you stuck feeling you need someone to make you happy? Many relationships break up over the excuse that, “You can’t make me happy.”
Discover why that’s true and how you can raise your happiness quotient in Part 3 of our series on being happy no matter what life throws at you.
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