My colleague, Veronica Anderson M.D., joins me in being a great advocate of having a great sex life, for both pleasure and health reasons. “Not just empty, meaningless, mundane and obligatory physical exchange — but real, deeply engaging, wholly satisfying curl-your-toes sex,” says Dr. Veronica. We had discussed reasons to have sex on the first date or move on to find a more compatible match during our controversial conversation during my radio show, A Lasting Love.
Here is the gist of Dr. Veronica’s article: We humans are sexual beings who need to be touched. If we’re not being touched or loved physically, researchers report that we “Fail To Thrive.” Researchers have proven this is true for humans from infancy, childhood and even throughout adulthood.
For example, if a newborn baby is not touched or nurtured physically, he/she will suffer many adverse conditions resulting from physical neglect. Adults in sexless relationships or those without a sexual partner after a breakup also can suffer physically and emotionally from physical neglect. According to Dr. Howard S. Friedman, co-author of The Longevity Project (along with Dr. Leslie R. Martin), sex is the cornerstone to living a longer, healthier life.
So it’s proven that people with a strong sex life live longer, happier lives. For men as well as women, the physiological benefit is largely connected to the release of hormones like oxcytocin, which occurs while in the act of giving through touch during sex. Dr. Veronica prescribes this mandatory remedy: Having Safe Sex is Great Sex
I’m finding that many newly-single adults are not emotionally ready for that remedy, because they are suffering the pain of lost love and the loss of a sexual partner.
The most tragic loss after the death of a relationship can be the loss of an active sex life. Sexual deprivation hurts in so many ways. It can be painful to see your former partner dating like the world is about to end, while you’re home taking care of your children, trying to find joy in living on your own.
If your former partner left you to be with a younger version of you, this can destroy your belief that you’re still attractive and lovable. You can’t even imagine that someone will desire you sexually or love you the way you deserve to be loved. I speak from personal experience here. I know this pain. I’d like you to know how I grew through it, and you will, too.
First a dating alert. It may be tempting to prove you’re still desirable or satisfy your hunger for sex by diving into a sexual relationship with someone who’s not good for your well being. This choice may feel good at first, yet it often leads to even more pain when this encounter ends.
To avoid this dating minefield, I encourage you to use this urgent care before you start dating again:
* Schedule frequent therapeutic massages that ease stress, increase energy and make up for touch deprivation. If cost is an issue, sign up for a massage course where you give and receive massages as part of the weekly course work.
* Get your nails done at mani-pedi salons that include massages of hands, arms, legs and feet to help you relax, recharge your energy, and enhance the beauty of your hands and feet. More men are discovering these revitalizing pleasures of keeping their own hands and feet looking great.
* Soak in a tub of warm water every day using plenty of moisturizing soap like MIRACLE II, which detoxes you and comforts you. Use an organic body rub that you apply yourself during your bath to nourish your skin and give yourself a healthy dose of nurturing touch.
* Take daily walks in nature, breathing in beauty and fresh air, breathing out stress and negativity, getting some exercise as an extra benefit
* Break energetic patterns of stress by using biofeedback, guided visualization audios, and meditation
* Seek expert help to get rid of any anger, bitterness and negativity that keeps you stuck in pain and can even cause illness. You can release destructive emotion in creative ways, by writing it out, singing or dancing it out, painting it out, cooking or baking it out, or talking it out with an objective expert who’s equipped to handle it (unlike family and friends)
* Fall in love with yourself and your new life by using my 5 Rs every day:
Rev up your strengths so any weaknesses lose power
Revive your dreams and take action on them every day
Recharge your health so you look and feel your best
Remain resilient and optimistic, always expecting even better days ahead
Remember the love and love lessons, to replace sad old love stories with happy new ones
* Give thanks each day for your blessings, your love lessons and for all the faces of love in your life. What you think about you bring about, so focus your thoughts and actions on solutions instead of problems so you can build a new life you love.
What’s another benefit in taking these actions each day?
You will build feelings of healthy self love and gratitude that attract love like a love magnet. You will get over a breakup faster and get back on the happiness track where you belong. Now you’re ready to start dating to choose a great partner and get the red-hot sex life you deserve.
And when you feel ready to find love again, I will guide your love quest and help you choose your perfect match in the TribeOfSingles dating site where great singles find great love. Take a FREE look around as my guest now
Get the red-hot love life you deserve,
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