Dating Question for Hadley:
Two years ago, my wife of 39 years asked me for a divorce, and we’re still in expensive divorce hearings with no end in sight. For almost two years, I’ve also been seeing two great women.
Once a month, I fly across the country to spend a weekend with a 48 year-old woman, who’s never been married. She’s willing to give up her career, home and friendships to move in with me–but only if we get engaged immediately after my divorce is final, and then we get married within 90 days.
Once a month, I also see a local 38 year old woman, who’s been unhappily married for 15 years. As soon as my divorce is final, she wants to get a divorce and marry me.
Each woman earns a good living, so they don’t need my money. Sex is great with each of them. Neither one wants to have children, which is good because mine are grown and they want me to be happy in a new marriage. How do I choose which great woman to marry after my divorce?
Each choice you make comes with love lessons attached like a bow and sets your love karma in motion. If you choose to play a role in breaking up a long marriage, expect emotional turbulence ahead. That could be true if you choose to marry anyone without getting to know them on a daily basis in real life for at least a year.
If two women want to marry you as soon as your divorce is final, how do you make the best choice at this love crossroads?
Your best choice always supports your best interests and well being. To identify your best choice, ask yourself these questions. Is it in your best interests to:
* be pressured into getting married immediately after your divorce?
* get engaged or marry someone you’ve only seen in vacation or affair mode?
* choose a new mate who puts their needs, wants and desires ahead of yours?
* agree to marry someone who won’t end her unhappy marriage until you commit to her?
* choose a new spouse before you discover how you deal with real life together?
* rush into a new marriage before you’ve had alone time to discover what you want in your new life?
You always have the power to make choices that support your best interests and well being or that create drama and heartache. Are you a hurricane hunter who seeks turbulent emotional drama or a serenity seeker who prefers peace of mind and learning from a gentler joy? If you choose to rush into a new marriage right after a divorce, will you create a new life of turbulence or smooth sailing? Keep me posted on your progress in creating a new life you love.
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