Ed Banks of Breakup Hub asked me these questions during a recent interview about surviving a breakup and thriving in your new life. In Part 1, you eased loneliness, pain and grief over lost love. Now you’ll ease more emotional fallout of a bad breakup and learn to fall in love with your new life. Plus you’ll discover the breakup success tools I used to reinvent my life so it’s better than ever after my heartbreaking breakup.
Part 2 of Ed Bank’s Interview of me about my breakup survival guide:
One of the most effective principles that is preached is that of the “no- contact” rule, where those who are coping with loss shouldn’t contact their ex for a period of time after a breakup. Although effective, this is extremely difficult to do. Can you give some advice to those trying to get through their own “no- contact” period?
No Contact Period sounds like you’re in solitary confinement. Let’s remove the stigma of deprivation and call it My Well Being Period. It’s time you make choices that support your best interests and that of your children, if you have them. And you replace one habit of being with your ex with something better, more positive, satisfying and delightful. This is the perfect time to fall in love with yourself again so you love the wonderful person you are becoming in your new life.
Feelings of anger are very common after a break up. Those who are broken up with get mad at their ex, themselves, the situation they’re in, and everything and anything they can point their finger at. Can you give advice to those dealing with anger?
Anger is neither good nor bad; it’s just energy. Instead of using it as destructive energy, you can channel angry energy in creative, productive ways. Here’s how I did this. My breakup anger made my heart feel like a pressure cooker on a hot flame ready to blow. So I vented my rage on the page–in my journals which I later burned.
As soon as I stopped blaming my ex and started seeing the love lessons I could learn from him instead, my anger faded away. Then I used that energy to create an amazing new life for me and my children by using the same success tools I’m offering you.
Depression is another necessary feeling many may go through after loss. Can you give advice to those currently experiencing bouts of depression after breaking apart from their ex?
Depression is NOT a necessary feeling. It can be unexpressed anger turned inward against yourself. If the symptoms of loneliness and anger are not treated or healed, this can lead to a chronic state of depression and inaction.
Or you may choose the wrong relationship to escape pain or depression, and then you wonder why this only causes you more pain.
You can reverse your downward spiral before it leads to depression in several ways:
You can cure loneliness by making positive connections with people.
You can channel your angry energy in ways that make you happy.
Since the brain’s feel-good chemicals also are produced in your gut, it’s important to eat wholesome foods, probiotics and nature’s supplements and get some daily exercise to relieve symptoms of depression and promote healthy, happy vitality. Acclaimed brain expert, Daniel Amen M.D., also encourages you to explore nature’s treatments before you take anti-depressant pharmaceuticals with dangerous side effects.
Acceptance is a necessary stage towards healing. For many, this is challenging as they’re unable to let go of their ex. How can someone break free of their past and accept their present situation?
The Dalai Lama said that we’re all here to experience joy, and that pain is joy you resist. The sooner you choose to accept a breakup instead of resist it, the sooner you’ll let joy into your life again.
I help you break up with your past and have a love affair with your present in a 3-step process:
Remove your dark veil of grief to regain clarity of the love that remains in your life.
Burn up your pain by journaling and then burning your angry journals.
Burn in the Fire Of Love as you develop resilient optimism we need to overcome challenges, love deeply and live our dreams now.
I guide you through this process in my articles, in my coaching programs and in my album of songs inspired by my own journey from lost love to the Fire Of Love. I’ll give you a free download of my album to support your brave journey at the end of this interview.
Can you talk about the importance of reflection during the post-break up period in ones life?
Again, the pain of lost love opens the doorway to the spiritual and creative realms. You can choose to avoid this doorway to personal discovery and growth. Or you can choose to enter the doorway that transforms your life so it is better than ever.
Your transformation requires solitary reflection as you discover the amazing new you that you are becoming in your new life. It is an exciting period of reflection, discovery and growth that begins as soon as you’re open to it. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
Hope is something that can truly allow someone to survive one of the darkest times of their life. Can you talk about the importance of hope for those dealing with a break up?
Grieving lost love can be the toughest love test in your life. It requires more than hope to pass this love test. Discover your secret pass key in the Sufi saying that helped me:
“When the Heart Grieves Over What It Has Lost, The Spirit Rejoices Over What It Has Left.”
How do you use this wisdom when you are on your knees in breakup pain and grief, like I was? Remember to see and reach out for all the people who love you.
Remember to fall in love again with yourself, by using my 5 R’s every day. This is how you lift yourself up from your knees, give thanks and celebrate all the love and beauty in your life.
As you radiate healthy self love and gratitude, you heal heartbreak, attract love like a love magnet and begin your love affair with your awesome new life you’re creating.
I invite you to enjoy a musical guide for your journey from lost love back into the Fire Of love when you claim your album at no charge here: http://TribeOfBlondes.com/bonusmusic
And when you feel ready to find love again, I’ll guide your love quest and help you choose your perfect match in our community of great singles seeking great love. Take a FREE look around as my guest of the TribeOfSingles.com dating site where marriage-minded singles find love.
I also encourage you to visit Breakup Hub–a resource created for those dealing with breakups. From expert interviews, to in-depth articles, Breakup Hub offers all the information you’ll need to emotionally heal from your break up, grow as a person, or even learn how to get your ex back
Get the red-hot love life you deserve!
P.S. Know someone who needs to heal a broken heart? Be sure to share this now by clicking SHARE and TWEET. I’m thankful for you!