Dating Question: I’ve started dating after being married for 20 years and divorced six months. My ex wife and I always acted happier and had more fun in the bedroom after we had a few drinks. When I bought my last date that third drink, I noticed a mean streak that made me run like hell.
I realized a 3-drink test is a quick way to find out your date’s true personality and decide if you could get along. If you agree, spread the word, OK?
I’m still looking for a woman who gets a little wild in a good way like I do, after a few drinks.
Dating Answer: You’re giving alcohol too much credit or blame for the way your love life plays out. The aphrodisiac effects of alcohol may be there because you want it to be, like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Researchers have proven that what you think is going to happen for you while you’re under the influence of a few drinks is likely to happen. We have a motto for this mindset in our online community: What you see will be, whether you’re under the influence or not.
You can read about the science and psychology that supports this in a new book by Dr. David Hanson, Preventing Alcohol Abuse.
How does alcohol affect men and women?
Alcohol has a dampening affect on the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which controls inhibition. Women and men absorb alcohol differently. Women don’t have as much of the enzyme that breaks down alcohol, so more of it enters their bloodstream.
By the third drink, most women’s blood alcohol content would surpass the limit set forth in drunk driving laws. Her judgment may be impaired. Initial euphoria may start wearing off and she may become irritable.
You can get more info about the science behind this from the National Institute for Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.
Now that you know the health risks in your 3-drink test, I’d like to suggest safer ways to test if your date is emotionally suited for a relationship with you. These suggestions apply to men and women seeking a healthy relationship.
If you’d like to get a quick glimpse of your date’s authentic behavior and character, try going out on a date and having no alcohol at all.
Is your date nervous or irritable without it? Are you? Do you feel a natural high in each other’s presence?
I often tell my online community that adversity opens the door to personal growth. It not only builds character, it also reveals it. Why not place your date in a situation that makes them feel slightly awkward or uncomfortable so that you can find out how they react under a little stress?
Let your date drive you through rush hour traffic to observe any personality quirks that arise under pressure. Are they calm enough or too impatient for you?
Show up a half-hour late for a date to see how they handle disappointed expectations or broken promises. How will you apologize or make up for your breech?
If you want to test for a happy, fun personality, plan an outing that’s your idea of fun and see how your date reacts. Are they bored or delighted at a ball game or at the opera if you’re a fan?
Tell your date about a parenting issue or an issue with your aging parents, and see what insights and empathy you receive. Are you impressed or disappointed by their response?
There are infinite ways to find out how your date behaves in real-life situations with a clear presence of mind instead of being under the influence. I encourage you to choose a healthy dating test to discover your date’s true character, core values, common interests and emotional compatibility for a relationship.
Love deeply and live your dreams now,