Ever sense that your special date is too focused on fun to settle down in a relationship? Does your date say and do everything right–except commit to a relationship?
This Love Test helps you recognize if your date just might be too good to be true to you. Then decide if this dating relationship works for you.
“Everybody plays the fool, sometimes,” sings Aaron Neville in his hit song.
There’s a big difference between feeling like a fool in love and being played as a fool in a dating relationship.
Want to make sure you aren’t fooled into thinking you could settle down with someone who’s too exciting, charming or illusive for a committed relationship? Then look for these common traits in risky dates.
In our online community, we call these magnetically attractive and emotionally risky dates, “Pioneers”, since they’re always after greener trails.
Pioneers often are recently divorced or free again after a big break up when they enter a phase of chasing pleasure in serial dating.
This phase may end if a pioneer meets someone they don’t want to lose. Then a pioneer may return to being a settler who’s content at home on the range in a happy relationship.
How do Pioneers differ from Players?
Players are often referred to as playboys or playgirls who have not yet settled down in a committed relationship and may never do so. Being a player is often a lifestyle– whereas being a pioneer is often a restless phase.
How do you know if you’re dating a pioneer or a player?
Whether it’s a phase or a lifestyle, pioneers and players share these common traits:
They chase dates with superficial appeal like physical appearance, money, career success, a fancy car or address.
Image is an aphrodisiac.
Dating is all about pursuing lust, chemistry and pleasure, since they don’t know the difference between lust and love.
They’re addicted to the rush of cupid’s cocktails that you feel at the start up of a dating relationship. If that begins to wear off, they move on to greener trails and a greater rush of pleasure.
They keep diving into a new relationship but never learn how to swim into a relationship that lasts. This is because they often cherish their freedom more than a relationship.
What are the attractor factors of players and pioneers?
They know how to have fun and plan exciting dates, so you look forward to your time together.
They may speak from the heart about past wounds or current desires for a relationship with the right person.
They may read spiritual books, do yoga, meditate or attend courses that promote personal growth.
They may say and do all the right things, so that you sense they might be ready to settle down with you.
What happens when you bring up the subject of a committed relationship?
They run. That’s when you realize you weren’t an important part of their lives.
Should you take it personally or see it as a big mistake?
I often tell my online community there are no mistakes–only choices with love lessons attached.
Always look for the love lesson.
Know that both people in a dating relationship must want and work toward a committed relationship. You can’t reach that goal alone.
Next time you meet a date who may be too good to be true, you can present this love test early in a dating relationship. Ask what they seek in a relationship.
What if they vanish into the dating pool?
What if they say all the right things about wanting a relationship but their actions don’t support their words?
You are free to move on and meet your best match who values and shares your vision for a happy relationship.
And if you’re single and seeking your best love match, I invite you to enjoy singles free months membership in the singles club in Tribe Of Blondes.
Not a hair color, it’s a resilient optimism that unites us and fuels our adventures.
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Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,