Let’s say you’re in a great dating relationship with a highly compatible match in all important areas. Are you ready to commit? Is your date? How do you find out without ruining your casual connection? You and your date can take this Love Test.
A Love Test For You: How do you know if you’re ready to commit to an exclusive, monogamous relationship?
Does the thought of commitment feel like a noose around your neck?
Do you think of all the dating delights you will miss if you commit to your current lover?
Would you feel like the cage door was closing and your wings were being clipped?
If you answered YES to any question, you’re not emotionally ready to commit.
This may not have anything to do with the wonderful person you are dating. Your stressful feelings about commitment are signs that you yearn for personal freedom and growth that often comes from serial dating.
If you answered NO to those three questions, you may be ready to commit to the right person. Ask yourself some questions about your dating partner:
Are you clearly seeing more strengths than flaws in your dating partner and the way you two interact?
Do you see the two of you working through life’s challenges and enjoying mundane pleasures of daily life?
Do you feel moments of a sublime connection in which you lose track of time, space and a sense of separate selves?
Would you happily give up the chance to date anyone else if your current dating relationship moves from casual to committed?
If you answered YES to the one or more questions on this Love Test, you are ready to explore the possibility of a committed relationship.
Is your date feeling the same way?
How do you find out if your date may be ready to commit without ruining your great casual connection?
Unfortunately, you may not be able to. You run the risk of making your date run, if you ask about their vision for your relationship. Is it worth that risk?
Consider what’s best for your well being. Is your biological clock tickling loudly? Do you feel your time is precious and you don’t want to waste it in a relationship that doesn’t have future potential?
If so, it may be in your best interests to have the commitment conversation and face the consequences early in your dating relationship.
What is the best way to ask about commitment?
Avoid all-or-nothing ultimatums. Most of us don’t respond well to commands or controlling partners who issue them.
You might start the conversation saying how much you enjoy getting to know each other and you’d like to spend more time together over the next few months to see if you both see potential for a serious relationship.
Then pay close attention to the response you receive.
If you sense more resistance than positive vibes, this relationship may not have a future. If you’d rather find this out sooner than later, consider asking your date to make a choice.
You might say that you don’t feel the desire to date anyone else. Ask your date if they feel the same way about you.
If they do, then a committed relationship is the natural next step.
If your date wants to keep dating you and other people, then you must decide if that works for you.
Could you make a better use of your precious time and emotional energy meeting and dating someone who feels ready to make a commitment with the right person?
If that’s what you decide, you will end this relationship and move forward. And you may want to ask this direct question about commitment readiness in a light-hearted tone at the beginning of your next dating relationship.
And if you’re single and seeking the great love of your life, I invite you to join the Singles Club of Tribe Of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient optimism that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.
Claim your free, one-month trial membership when you click on SINGLES CLUB at the top of this page. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,