What are the top two benefits you desire in a relationship? Find out why this is a good Love Test to present on a first date or in the early stages of a dating relationship.
A single man I met online just sent me an email asking one question. “What are the top two benefits you desire in a new relationship?”
I thought about it for a few seconds and emailed my reply:
#1. Intimacy that unites friendship, passion and love
#2. A partner in purpose and play
While waiting for his reply, I was struck by the simple brilliance of this Love Test.
Ask what someone expects to receive in a relationship before you find out if they expect to receive more than they give. Or vice versa.
This Love Test may identify the takers, the gold rush girls or guys, the unstables who need an emotional rescue. Of course, you have to rely on the honesty in the answers of someone you just met online or on a first date.
Since honesty is an essential foundation in a healthy relationship, personal or professional, I’m thinking I should revise my number 1 benefit in a relationship as follows:
# 1. Honest intimacy that unites friendship, passion and love.
While waiting for his reply, I’m wondering what his top two benefits in a relationship might be. A casual relationship? Friends with benefits? A nurse and a purse? A muse? A wife who makes his life wonderful while he’s too busy with work to enjoy time together?
Hmm. I’d like to rule out casual connections, gold rush guys and busy guys. And I’d like to find more balance in my work life so I could focus on creating a fabulous relationship. So I should revise my number 2 benefit as follows:
# 2. A partner in purpose and play who makes our relationship a top priority, like I will.
While I send him my revised top two benefits, I hope you’ll do a little soul searching to find out what benefits you desire in a relationship.
What do you bring to a relationship? Do you expect more than you’re willing to give? How can you find a cozy balance in benefits you desire and offer in a new relationship?
Dedicated to your relationship happiness,
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