In Part One, you discovered prehistoric reasons why we are wired for promiscuity, not monogamy, and why denying this aspect of human nature causes many modern marriages to fail.
In Part Two of my interview with researcher Christopher Ryan Ph.D, author of Sex At Dawn–The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality–we explore an honorable alternative to adultery and deception that often lead to divorce.
Let’s talk about polyamory, which is practiced when couples openly love two or more people simultaneously without secrecy or deception. Is Polyamory an honorable alternative to adultery, dishonesty and divorce?
Polyamory is a very honorable approach to these issues. Some people have the misconception that polyamory is about wife swapping or swinging. Yet polyamory isn’t about sex as much as intimacy.
Polyamorists start with idea that we can love more than one adult at a time the same way we can love more than one of our children. With our vast capacity to love, it’s tragic to restrict adult relationships to love only one person at once.
Polyamorists work hard to avoid confusion and hurt feelings that come from deception and lying about affairs. You can find more information in the classic book on Polyamory–The Ethical Slut by Dawcey Easton, which has been reprinted many times in many languages.
This is a hot-button concept for couples who are trying to keep their marriage exciting and monogamous. Can you imagine young lovers in their 20s talking about polyamory as a way to avoid secret affairs and divorce later in life?
We tend to model the relationships we saw as a child. Most people become polyamorists after they’ve tried and failed to be sexually faithful in marriage. They’ve changed their concept of marriage and monogamy to make it work for them.
I recommend that you discuss these issues with your mate or before you enter a long-term relationship. No issue is taboo if you want to build emotional intimacy, understanding and honesty in a relationship.
In Part Three, you’ll discover how a modern society’s non-traditional view of marriage and childrearing acknowledges our prehistoric roots and essential sexual nature.
Get all the happy, sexy love you desire,
Hadley Finch
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