Experts warn that everyone lies; if you deny it you are lying. Yet a meaningful relationship begins with honesty. So why do some men lie to get women to love them? How do women encourage this deception? You’re about to learn how to detect tell-tale signs of lies and learn how to break a lying habit to build honesty and avoid being a victim of lies in any relationship.
Why do men lie more often than women?
To find the answer, I interviewed Dr. Ismael Major, a renowned psychiatrist who wrote the book, Little White Whys — A Woman’s Guide To The Lies Men Tell And Why. While researching his book, Dr. Ish found that men lie more readily than women.
Many men said they didn’t think they could get what they wanted by telling the truth, so they bend or shape the truth to get their desired results. becomes a control issue in a dating situation when a man presents himself as so wonderful that a woman has no choice but to be with him.
Dr. Ish says this is an sign of low self esteem. If men felt comfortable in their own skin they would be assured enough to be themselves and attract a date who likes them just the way they are.
Men also fear rejection and they do all they can to avoid emotional confrontation with women, even if it includes lying.
Men and women also lie to hide cheating with money or sex from their partner.
How do you activate your inner lie detector so you don’t get fooled by lies?
Trust your gut feelings and watch a person’s behavior for signs of inconsistency.
Keeping promises and consistent actions are signs of honesty. If you find that your partners actions don’t match their words, then you can calmly mention your observations and watch their reactions. It is hard for some people to remember their lies, so they ultimately will be discovered.
How do you break a habit of lying and start being honest in a relationship?
Maturity. You realize that life is easier when you tell the truth and become comfortable with the real you.
Is lying ever good for a relationship?
When a woman asks a man if he likes her new haircut, Dr. Ish advises men to say YES unless they really have a strong reaction against it. Is it worth a major emotional blow up that prompts men to lie? Or is a little white lie a more peaceful option?
If a woman asks if she looks fat in her jeans, then a man might devastate her if he said YES. Since she brought it up, she may be seeking a little nudge to get in better shape. Then a man can give her the support she needs.
How do you handle lying in a dating situation?
Clarify what each of you means by dating. To a woman, it may mean you are exclusive with one man. To a man, it may mean he’s spending time with many women. When you agree on your definition of a dating relationship, then it is wise to keep your promises and look for your partners behavior that is consistent with those promises.
A skilled lying guy will avoid that conversation by all means so he can say that he never promised to be monogamous or exclusive. If either person in a relationship breaks promises, often shows up late, cheats on taxes or shows inconsistency in actions, then you must decide if you want to stay in a relationship built on lies or move on to find a more honest relationship.
The same holds true if you sense that your mate is lying to you. It is wise to step back and find out if the lie is coming from a place to spare hard feelings and confrontation.
Or is your partner trying to pull a fast one on you? If so, you have some emotional work to do if you want to nurture honesty and trust in your relationship. Be willing to make the calm confrontation by getting the truth on the table and watching the reactions of your partner.
Then you decide whether you can build an honest relationship or whether you need to find a partner who also values honesty.
Ideally, you’ll use these tips to build an authentic relationship with yourself and others.
Get all the happy, sexy love you desire,