Home / A Course In Dating Miracles / Sex On First Dates Part 2 – Why Great Sexual Attraction Comes With Great Love Lessons

Sex On First Dates Part 2 – Why Great Sexual Attraction Comes With Great Love Lessons

This series is intended to help single men and women who want to stop dead-end dating and find love fast. In Part 1 you decided if it’s smart for you to delay lovemaking with the proper stranger or have passionate sex on the first date. Now you’ll discover what you can learn from instant sexual chemistry in Part 2 of my radio interview for A Lasting Love with Dr. Veronica Anderson. She’s an Ivy-league educated physician, relationship adviser and radio host of Wellness For The Real World, and she encourages single men and women to either have sex on first dates or find a better match.

HF: You’ve said that instant sexual chemistry can be the glue that holds a relationship together. I often tell my online community that big attraction often comes with big love lessons attached like a bow, so be aware if you want to learn the lessons someone new will teach you. For example, you may have met your Imago–a person who throws salt on your childhood wounds so you can heal them as an adult. Or if you’re afraid of abandonment, you may feel most attracted to someone who will abandon you. Your analysis of love lessons can take some time. Sounds like you are encouraging single men and women to have sex first and analyze love lessons later. Is that correct, Dr. Veronica?

DrV: There are multiple paradigms for starting out dating and relationships. I encourage people to open your mind, consider different paradigms and think about trying something new. If you’ve been one of those people who’ve believed you must wait for 90 days to have sex with someone new, consider not waiting 90 days. Relax and say, “Let me see how it goes, and see what’s right for this relationship because each relationship, each person is different.

HF: I’m still wondering. Let’s say you see someone across a crowded room and feel a lightening bolt of attraction that draws you toward each other. Are you encouraging these two people to dive into sex and deal with love lessons later?

DrV: It’s a different scenario when you’ve been introduced to someone by friends or you’ve researched someone online or when you meet a stranger. You need to take into account your past history. Is your intuition good? I’ve met women who say they always pick bad men, and they do. Then others tell me they haven’t had bad news relationships, so they’re better served by diving in and following their intuition than the person with the history of picking bad men. They shouldn’t trust themselves and should consider waiting when dating, because your eyes are clouded and you don’t see everything you should. If you have sex early with the wrong person, you’ll be bonded to them because of oxytocin that your brain makes to bond you to a lover and make it harder for you to move away.

HF: Women produce more oxytocin during lovemaking than men. Since women are more likely to bond emotionally during sex, shouldn’t she protect her emotional well being by delaying love making, at least until she discovers whether someone is a good, compatible match? Especially if she’s been picking bad matches. Same question applies to men.

DrV: If you’re used to picking bad matches, you shouldn’t trust your initial judgment. You need to figure out other ways to assess someone. These are people who, when they get physical they get crazy, and you can’t tell them anything. Down the road, it’s bad news. That percentage of the population should wait to have sex.

Let’s say you’re a person who can go into a sexual relationship and realize that as soon as you get intimate those hormones may cloud your judgment. Yet afterwards you can step back and figure out if this relationship is good for you or not. Does this person fit your criteria of what you need in a long-term, committed relationship or not?

Another thing people need to admit is that science tells us sex is a human need. So stop trying to make every sexual encounter into a relationship. There will be people you meet whose purpose is to fulfill your sexual needs, and yet they’re inappropriate for a long-term relationship. When both people realize this, and understand that the hormones are going on, then you can accept this person is good for now but not for long term happiness.

HF: How do you protect yourself from STD exposure with new sexual partners?

Find out how to have safe sex and what unexpected age groups are spreading STD’s, in Part 3 of our series to help single men and women stop dead-end dating and find love fast.

You can find Dr. Veronica’s radio show and webtv show, Medicine Woman Modern World, when you visit www.DrVeronica.com

And if you or your single friends are seeking your great love, I’ll help you choose your perfect match in the dating site I created for positive, successful singles. Take a free look around as my guest at www.TribeOfSingles.com

Get the red-hot love life you deserve,

Hadley Finch

What else can big attraction be telling you about compatibility?

Find out in part 2 of our series to help men and women stop dead-end dating and find love fast.

And if you or your single friends are seeking great love, I’ll help you choose your perfect match in the dating site I created for positive, successful singles. Take a free look around as my guest at www.TribeOfSingles.com

Get the red-hot love life you deserve,

Hadley Finch

About Hadley Finch

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