Unless you live in India or parts of Africa, most modern marriages aren’t being arranged by families anymore. So most single men and women are free to choose your best love match.
Arranged marriages have a divorce rate of only 5-7 percent compared to over 50 percent average divorce rate in U.S. marriages. We may improve our marital success rate if we model the success strategies of arranged marriages.
What’s the best way to arrange your own marriage?
Consider our typical dating process and do the opposite.
We often choose dates or mates because of intense physical attraction and passionate feelings of infatuation, both of which can be fleeting. Big attraction often comes with big issues and love lessons attached like a bow. If you’re not able to handle big issues that arise, often called irreconcilable differences, then you could end up in divorce court.
What is the opposite approach in an arranged marriage?
Decide the values and qualities that are important for a happy life as a couple. Then choose dates who have these values and qualities, and choose your mate from these qualified candidates.
How do you choose your best mate?
You may not choose a mate in your childhood community, where you know family history and you share common life experience.
You may not choose your mate in academic or career pursuits, in which you tend to possess common talents and work interests.
You may have to move beyond your familiar community and comfort zone to choose your best match.
Since this could be the most important choice in your life, it’s smart to be proactive.
Ideally, you possess the qualities and values that you seek in your mate. Since like attracts like, your best partner will be attracted to these qualities in you.
All you have to do is go out there and find each other, since it’s unrealistic to expect that your best match will show up at your doorstep.
How do you find your best match?
Ask your family and friends to keep their eyes open for someone with the qualities you seek in your mate.
Go to places where you’ll meet people who share your interests.
Hire a professional matchmaker who will search for your ideal match with these qualities.
Sign up for dating sites and create a dating profile that mentions the qualities and values you bring to a relationship and seek in your match.
Talk about these important qualities when you meet dates. Your best match will be interested and others won’t. This sorting process helps you choose wisely.
See beyond physical appearance to inner qualities that spark a lasting fire of love.
Go into a relationship with your eyes wide open, then keep your critical eyes half closed so you see and act with a loving heart at all times as the proven secret to lasting romance
What’s another secret for the success of arranged marriages?
When families arrange marriages, these couples are naturally part of their extended families and they commit to a larger cause than just the two of them.
When a couple arranges your own marriage, you will make a greater commitment to your family, your community or a cause that inspires each of you.
Then the petty quirks or irritations between partners lose power as you remain focused on fulfilling the loving purpose that you chose for your relationship.
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