Did you know that the questions you ask your beloved mate or a special date, either speak to their mind or to their heart and soul? How do you discover the difference?
Think of typical questions you ask your partner each day. Jot down a few examples. Now take a look at your common questions, and let’s explore the messages they send and the type of connection they create.
* Asking questions about the facts of the day connects you to the analytical mind of your partner.
* Asking questions about their feelings connects you to their heart and soul.
How do you really know your partner and deepen your emotional connection?
You simply ask better questions, and listen carefully to their answers. I’ll show you how this love tool improves your connection with a long-term partner, a special date and even with your children, if you have them or plan to.
How do you start the process?
Begin by tweaking the questions you ask when you are reunited with your partner after spending a day apart.
Instead of asking, “How was your day?” consider asking these soulful questions:
What can I do right now to help you feel at home?
When did you feel lonely or frustrated today?
When did you feel in the flow or inspired?
What did I do today that made you feel loved or appreciated?
What did I do or say that made you feel overlooked?
If you already are asking your beloved partner these soulful questions, you’re on track to get all the love and happiness you deserve in your relationship. Why?
Speaking to the heart and soul of your partner tells them you really care about what they say and how they feel. You’re revealing that you want them to know and be known, love and be loved in ways that deepen intimacy, sustain romantic fun and lasting love. Your tender questions can melt their emotional armor for amore`.
What if you now realize you need to ask better questions?
Start by avoiding one question, “How was your day?”
Replace it with a soulful question from the list above, or one that you prefer.
This may feel uncomfortable at first, stepping out of an old love habit that doesn’t serve you. Yet you’ll start feeling comfortable getting to know each other in new, exciting ways, when you see your partner look at you with new eyes and give you fresh replies.
What if your partner replies to your question by expressing a litany of problems?
You don’t try to solve those problems. You do give them your undivided attention, with all senses activated. Active listening is one of the greatest gifts of love you can give someone you love.
What if you’re dating to find love? How can you ask more soulful questions on a date?
* Stop asking fact-based, mind-targeting questions like, “What do you do?” “Where do you live?” “What car do you drive?”
* And start asking soulful questions like:
“How do you find joy in your day?”
“Who do you feel closest to and why?”
“What makes you feel loved?”
“What frustrates you?”
“Have you ever lost someone or something you care about?”
“If you could have a Do Over in life or a previous relationship, what would you do differently?
What if a date resists responding to your tender questions?
They may need to learn how to do so. If they’re not willing, they may not be the best love match for you.
What if you’re a parent or plan to be? How can you ask better questions to your children?
Apply the same strategy to deepen your emotional connection.
* Stop asking general mind-targeting questions like, “How was school today?”
* Start asking questions that speak to their heart and soul, like:
“How did you feel during your geography test?”
“What was your most fun moment today?”
“What made you feel proud of yourself today?”
“What would you like to do over today, if you could?”
When you tenderly probe beyond the surface with your questions, you inspire people to speak from their heart and soul when they speak with you. What a lovely gift you give each other, when you develop or deepen this exciting love habit, starting right now.
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