Think of your dating profile as a TV advertisement about YOU, which attracts your perfect match. You simply deliver your personal advertising message in a clear, compelling way that is irresistible to someone on your love wavelength. How do you create your best personal advertisement quickly and easily? Before you write a word, ask yourself these 4 questions:
QUESTION 1: “Who is my audience, also known as my perfect match?”
Your goal is Not to win the heart of all the singles on a dating site. When you try to please everyone with your dating profile, you rarely engage anyone. Your goal is to speak to your ideal match who has the qualities and core values you seek.
For example, in my own dating profile I identified my perfect match as an “Intimate Knight.” Men who neither value intimacy nor see themselves as a Knight will pass right by my ad. That sorting process is a good thing, because it narrows the field and zeroes in on the right Knight.
QUESTION 2: “What does my perfect match want in a relationship?”
Once you’ve got an image of your perfect match who is reading your advertising message, now think of what they seek in their perfect match. Consider a wide variety of needs, like being emotionally healthy, financially secure, physically fit, spiritually aware, a creative muse, a work-life balance, hearty appetites for sex and laughter. What else does your match want? Imagining their needs will help you write your advertisement that speaks directly to them.
QUESTION 3: “How can I meet their needs?”
Now consider all the wonderful qualities you bring to a relationship. Your best advertising message will match the needs of your perfect audience with the ways you’d satisfy those needs in a relationship with them.
Never over promise and under deliver. If a match seeks a creative muse and you say you’ll deliver daily inspiration, be sure you can deliver on your promise. Once you satisfy your match’s needs in your ad, you’re ready for the final question.
QUESTION 4: “What next step do I want them to take?”
Think about what you want your match to do as soon as they finish reading your personal ad. It’s not about proposing a permanent relationship nor a trip around the world, but opening communication. Choose ONE “call-to-action” among dating site options, including, “If you like my profile, feel free to email me,” or “Let’s meet in a video chat,” or “Let’s meet at starbucks.”
When someone responds to your call to action by contacting you, then your dating profile has fulfilled its purpose. Every inquiry deserves a review and a response. If you’re not interested in pursuing communication, it’s good dating karma to send a polite reply like, “Thanks for contacting me. Although I don’t see us as a match, I wish you the best in life and love.”
If you feel excited to communicate further, be aware that people can fall in love at the speed of write or when you talk for hours by phone. Yet a virtual or long-distance connection isn’t grounded in reality until you first meet face to face, always in a public place. That’s when you can have some fun talking about these 4 questions, finding out what you each seek in or bring to a relationship and discovering if the next step is to meet again. Either way, the win-win goal of introductory communication is to enjoy learning about their life and sharing something positive about yours as you get one step closer to choosing your perfect match.
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