When my former husband left me to date a baby woman half his age, I was afraid that my desirability and dating days were over. I had no idea that younger men might prefer to date older women.
I encountered this “Cougar-Cub” dating trend as soon as I subscribed to an online dating site and received dozens of emails from younger men. When they told me the real attractor factors that drive this dating trend, I realized it deserved a new name.
Why change the name of Cougars-Cougar Hunters?
These terms are predatory and do not reflect the authentic attraction and emotional intimacy that has evolved, since Mrs. Robinson exposed this relationship as a taboo in “The Graduate”.
Actress Demi Moore recently made it respectable when she married a man half her age and they seemed to be irresistibly bonded in ageless-timeless delight.
The predatory, undignified connotations no longer fit the intimate bonds and emotional bliss that timeless couples like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher enjoy.
If we’d like to change our view of these relationships, we should examine the new motives and mindset of the men who pursue older women.
What attractor factors draw younger men to older women?
I’ve unintentionally done my own research on this topic since I’ve been single again, by paying attention to dozens of emails I’ve received from younger men on internet dating sites. I’ve summarized their attractor factors:
Young men seek relationships with older women who are in sync with their desires for entertaining companionship and adventurous sexual intimacy.
Young men prefer the company of women who are confident, smart, sexually experienced and emotionally free.
They like to teach older women what’s new in their music and culture.
They are passionately curious about things a woman can teach them about life and love, because they have little to learn from girls their own age.
Young men enjoy an accomplished woman who has launched her children, her former husband and her career, so she has little to prove and few material yearnings to satisfy. So she is free to focus her energies on a new love.
Like fine wine, a woman’s sexual powers can be enhanced with time and maturity.
It is now a badge of honor for a young man to be wanted by a worldly, vital woman who knows how to build and enjoy intense emotional intimacy with a man who values her womanly beauty and wisdom.
Why do women seek relationships with younger men?
Some women feel more desire and more desirable in a relationship with a young man.
They may feel younger, and enjoy a youthful virility that men their own age may have lost, without that blue pill.
They don’t need a man to take care of them financially.
They enjoy the lack of baggage and uncomplicated desires of younger men who are eager to co-star in their fresh love story.
How do we remove the stigma from these relationships?
We can change our views when we change our vocabulary. “Enchanting Women” and “Young Knights” reveal the appeal and special qualities men and women share in these dating relationships. Can you think of another improvement over Cougars and Cougar Hunters?
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