“Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.” A man I was dating had told me that with a sigh of regret as we ended our relationship. “I made some mistakes I’d like to do over. What about you?” he’d asked me.
“There are no mistakes. Only choices with love lessons attached like a bow,” I’d replied tenderly.
Fortunately, I’d learned from a life coach during my devastating divorce that you could change your experience of any situation once you saw it with new eyes.
I was living proof that you could train your eyes to perceive disappointments, obstacles and so-called mistakes as important love lessons and exciting challenges that lift you up from your knees and promote glorious personal growth.
Once I’d made a new habit of seeing through resilient, optimistic eyes, I’d felt thankful for my love lessons presented by my greatest teachers.
What can you learn from my experience?
There’s no need to knock yourself down or feel ashamed by things that were done to you or that you did in retaliation. There are no seeds of growth in this victim mentality.
If we’re not growing, we’re dying. You can live well and reinvent your life as soon as you flip the switch.
Choose a new outlook. Make it a new habit to find love lessons and see opportunities for growth in each experience.
Start seeing your teachers and yourself through kind, loving, curious eyes.
During a dating or relationship experience that causes you pain, keep your date or mate in mind while you ask yourself, “What are you showing me that I need to look at and learn right now? What do I need to change in me for my well being?”
With this outlook, you will see each experience as a wake-up call to action, and you will:
Become passionately curious about discovering your love lessons
Accept responsibility for your role in creating the experience that you needed to learn from your teacher
Act on your desire to make positive changes that promote growth
I often tell my online community that you might feel like a target in a shooting gallery. Yet each time you get knocked down, you bounce right back up thanks to your resilient, optimistic outlook.
Of course, you’re not inviting people to take aim. You’re simply seeing each teacher and challenging experience as an opportunity to transform your life with new love lessons and magnificent new growth.
I invite you to see your relationship with new eyes. If you’re single and want to meet the great love of your life, enjoy a free, one-month trial membership in the Singles Club of Tribe Of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient optimism that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.
Claim your free, 30-day membership when you click SINGLES CLUB at the top of this page. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,