Some couples break up a perfectly good relationship in mid-life because of a common complaint that their partner can’t make them happy. Guess what? They’re right. Finding happiness, just like finding love, begins as an inside job.
That’s empowering news. As soon as you accept it, you can stop blaming your partner for your mid-life malaise and start making better choices and changing your life in positive ways that increase your own happiness and fulfillment.
What if you’re making self-destructive choices and hurting the people you love?
It’s a sign that you may be having a mid-life catastrophe, like burning bridges or leaving home in a sports car with someone half your age. “This ‘Red Ferrari Syndrome’ mistakes pleasure for fulfillment,” said Dr. Dike Drummond, who coined that syndrome in his book, Three Hour Mid-Life Crisis, He explained the problem with this syndrome during our conversation in my radio show, A Lasting Love.
“Not everything that’s pleasurable adds meaning or fulfillment, which is what you really need if you want to fill that painful hole in your chest,” Dike Drummond told me.
I observed how pain opens the doorway to the creative and spiritual realms. Yet some people reach that doorway while craving a rush of new pleasure before they die or wanting to prove they’re still desirable to someone new. How do you satisfy those powerful cravings without causing a mid-life catastrophe?
Dike explained that the amount of pain you feel is a marker of how important theses issues are to you. He said it’s one thing to take your life on a different path to get different results in career, health, lifestyle or relationships. He called that decision to change your life a “mid-life crisis,” in the positive sense.
What causes catastrophes that often lead to breakups?
Dike explained how they often result from a lack of transparency. People hide what they feel or fear. They get fed up because they don’t understand each other. They walk away because they don’t know how to improve their relationship.
So what’s the best way to prevent this?
Dike and I agreed on this success strategy:
Go to your mate and ask them for help.
Give yourself permission to be vulnerable with your partner.
Give both partners a chance to express what they want or what’s lacking.
Set boundaries of behavior each of you will tolerate.
Set a new vision for your relationship that you design together.
Take baby steps toward it and the next step will be revealed.
Get a new relationship roadmap plus 4 keys to choose your best path as a FREE gift from Dike. Click here.
And I’ll help you avoid relationship minefields and sustain passion, intimacy, fun and undying love with your partner in my red-hot relationship guide. Enjoy a romantic rescue for less than the cost of dinner and a movie. Get started now.
What if you or your single friends want to find love now? I’ll help you choose your perfect match in my dating site where elite singles meet. Take a FREE look around as my guest now.
Get the red-hot love life you deserve,
P.S. Share a story about your own crises here. Know someone who’d like to prevent a mid-life catastrophe? Be sure to share this now by clicking SHARE and TWEET. I appreciate you!