Happy Sexy Love How to bulletproof relationships with happy, sexy love
What if a man wants to have sex without having a relationship with you, and you want something more? You need to learn the Man Code for girlfriend material and start modeling female dating behaviors that trigger intense emotional attraction and lasting love in men. Your dating guide is Christian Carter, the acclaimed dating coach for women and author of Catch Him And Keep Him.
By Christian Carter:
Did you know that most men decide if a woman is “girlfriend material” within a few seconds of meeting her?
And here’s what is even more fascinating and strange about how men think and feel…
If you don’t know how to create the right first impression with a man, then you just might get thrown into the “just a friend” category before you can even talk to or connect with him.
And guess what that means?
Everything that you do after a man gets that initial impression about you is run through the “she’s just a friend” filter… and this can make being in the “friend zone” almost inescapable.
ESPECIALLY if you’re looking to get involved with a man for MORE THAN JUST A FLING.
But, there IS something you can do about this.
If you want to learn the mistakes lots of women make in first and second impressions that land them in the “friend zone”…
And what you can do instead that will make him think “GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL” from the get go, then keep reading…
WHY A MAN RECOGNIZES ONE WOMAN AS “RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL” AND ANOTHER AS JUST A “FLING”
Did you know that men have several specific terms and phrases that they use with each other to think of and describe women?
It’s a sort of “guy code” or short-hand slang that men everywhere use with each other and their friends.
One of my favorites that I’ve been hearing all my life from men is the term “Cool Girl.”
As in when a man says, “Yeah, I met this girl the other night and she was a really “cool girl”.
As simple as this sounds, the meaning that men give this term is important and applies to a set of very specific qualities.
Qualities that, although never actually discussed among men, are universally understood.
Quick quiz here for you:
1) You’ve got cool fashion sense.
2) Great taste in music.
3) You hang with the hippest friends at the best places.
4) And you’re often the life of the party.
So, that makes you a “Cool Girl”, right?
Not necessarily.
So, what in the world are men talking about?
And why are they so darn fickle?
Well, for starters, MEN DON’T MAKE SENSE. The more you try and use logic and reason to figure out or understand a man’s thinking and behavior, the more you’re going to become frustrated and upset by them.
It may seem simple or even downright ridiculous, but men think of women as “cool girls” when they see that a woman understands something that other women can’t even see going on.
Men see that a cool girl “gets it” on a level that lots of other women don’t.
They demonstrate to men certain social and emotional understandings and ways of behaving that resonate deeply with men, without them having to be talked about or explained.
You’ll hear different stats for this, but something around just 8% of communication is done through the actual spoken word.
We’re talking here about that AND the other 92%, which, for most women, is saying things to a man that they don’t even know they’re saying.
To put it another way, “cool girls” exude positive emotional energy that men can relate to.
And they’re “naturally” the kind of women who every man is inexplicably drawn to, even if they doesn’t look like a supermodel.
Want to know her secret?
In today’s email I’m going to reveal EXACTLY what makes you stand out as a “Relationship Material” (a “Cool Girl”) in a guy’s mind.
And we’ll talk about how you can harness your own power to become one.
But first, let’s learn what a cool girl ISN’T. Let me ask you a question:
Has a man ever accused you of being too “emotional?”
How about “moody?”
Or worse – maybe some guy actually called you “hysterical” or “needy”?
Whatever he called you, it was the start of him closing off or getting irritated with you and things going wrong in the conversation.
What’s frustrating for lots of women is that men often react this way when you simply bring up something you feel strongly about or you need to get off your chest.
Sure, maybe you got a little choked up or felt intense about it, but you were just being honest with your feelings.
Well I hate to be the one to break it to you, but this isn’t unusual for a man to do.
In fact, it’s “standard” behavior for most men to react to a woman with withdrawal or frustration in these kinds of conversations.
Is it the “right” thing for a man to do?
Obviously not. But you might be forgetting that MEN DON’T MAKE SENSE.
And don’t get me wrong…
I’m not saying that honesty isn’t important or that you’re not entitled to feel how you feel.
But, in order to make a relationship work, it’s CRITICAL for you to understand that men simply aren’t “wired” the same way that women are when it comes to connecting on an emotional level.
Men open up, connect, and become emotionally “committed” in different ways, and for different reasons than most women do.
Unfortunately, lots of women never really learn what these differences are… so they go about trying to build a connection, attraction, and create a lasting relationship with a man by doing what would work FOR THEM.
You don’t have to be a genius to figure out that this approach rarely works.
If you want some specific insights about what most women do when they’re starting out in a relationship with a man, or when they’re trying to get closer to a man that only pushes the man away…
Then you need to check out my eBook “Catch Him & Keep Him”.
There’s a specific section in the book I call “The Biggest Mistakes Women Make With Their Emotions”… and it talks about what this mistake so many women make is, how to avoid having a man pull away and resist you when you make it, and what to do instead.
If you’d like to learn why a man will react in a negative and fearful way to what you say about your feelings and emotions (even when what you’re saying is only for the good of your relationship and to show him you care), then go check it out my eBook now.
You can read it and literally start improving your live life immediately.
It’s time to change the ways a man often responds to you with frustration or RESISTANCE.
Instead, learn what will get a man to finally and at long last listen, learn, and connect with you on a deeper emotional level.
The key is UNDERSTANDING the “buttons” that will cause most men to stop listening and WITHDRAW… and instead learn how to communicate directly and easily with the part of a man’s personality and mind that’s open and receptive to love, affection, and connection with a woman.
Men want love and to connect with a woman more than they like to show…
And part of you instinctively knows this.
If you want to learn more about how to create the kind of intense create attraction with a man that will lead to him wanting much more than just a physical connection…
And will lead you both to connect with each other on a more lasting emotional level…
Then I suggest you check out the specifics I spell out in my eBook about the common behaviors that “cool girls” use to communicate with men and let them know they are “relationship material”.
You can download your free copy of my eBook and start reading it in literally minutes at the link below.
http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/eBook
So, let’s keep talking about some of the important differences when it comes to communicating with a man, creating ATTRACTION, and growing towards something deeper.
Remember when I mentioned the idea of the “Cool Girl” earlier?
Well, “Cool Girls” understand the facts of life when it comes to how men can be different.
And what’s more… they make these differences work in their favor (and not against them like so many other unfortunate women).
It’s as if they’ve learned this unspoken “guy code” that most other women don’t even know is going on right in front of them.
Well, today I’m letting you in on some of these codes and guidelines… starting with a few of the big “Don’ts”:
“Cool Girl” DON’Ts:
– Cool Girls DON’T exaggerate about what’s going on around them or what a man’s doing, unless they’re doing it as a joke or to make fun of a man in a playful way.
– Cool Girls DON’T say everything that they’re feeling and experiencing. They think before they speak. (Listen up to this one — it’s HUGE.)
– Cool Girls DON’T mention bad situations, issues or problems from the past unless it’s a total “must” or extremely important and they haven’t been able to talk about it yet. They find the right time for them AND their man to talk. Otherwise, Cool Girls live in the present moment.
– Cool Girls DON’T try to FORCE a man to talk about his feelings. They know that it will only backfire and he’ll think she’s being needy and close off.
Now, I know what you’re probably thinking:
“How can they act like that? It sounds like ‘Cool Girls’ are totally fake or devoid of all natural emotion.”
Wrong.
“Cool girls” still experience all of the same thoughts and feelings any normal healthy woman has…
But, they’ve CHOSEN to adopt a different kind of behavior that will ultimately get them the response that they’re looking for with the man.
They acknowledge the irrational ways of men and let that help shape their actions, which results in very powerful, very positive reactions from the men in their lives.
Simply put, they’ve got guys eating out of their hand, even in situations where other women would have caused emotional turmoil and “drama.”
And, isn’t that something that YOU would love to have too?
It’s not manipulative or diabolical…it’s just plain common sense.
So, what are some of these “cool girl” behaviors and ways of non-verbally communicating?
Here’s a few of the “cool girl” Do’s:
– Cool girls choose not to complain or talk about things for too long that are not other people’s responsibility or impossible for anyone to solve, given the current situation.
– Cool girls bring funny positive thoughts and feelings to situations to create an experience that men will want to have again and again.
– Cool girls know that they don’t have to control much with the situation around them for their own comfort and to get the outcomes or responses they want. They’re willing to go with the flow when it comes to social things, but make assertions when they have opinions and ideas.
– Cool girls have options and things to do that keep them satisfied so they don’t feel like they’re left out if they’re not invited to something. (And even if the don’t they certainly don’t complain about it or even mention it — they FIND something to do that makes them happy.)
– Cool girls prefer that a man makes up his own mind; they don’t try to make a man do something she says or she can tell he doesn’t want to do.
– Cool girls DO know that the way they feel and talk about themselves is how men will feel about them.
So, are YOU a “cool girl?”
Are you the kind of woman that men are “naturally” drawn to and want to be with… for more than just a fling?
Do you know what the other 92% of your communication (the non-verbal communication) is saying to a man?
And do you get how to say all the right things verbally and non-verbally to let him instantly know that you’re the kind of girl he’d like to connect with and fall in love with?
My eBook “Catch Him And Keep Him” teaches the most critical “real world” strategies you need to know to find and live the relationship you’ve always dreamed of.
It’s even got lots more psychological, emotional and behavioral insights about the “cool girl” that men naturally respond to in dating and relationships.
The entire first section of my book is THE definitive guide to understanding how attraction works for men and their natural and sometimes irrational biological differences that “cool girls” get.
Each page of this section is jam-packed with concepts and ideas to help you learn exactly what goes on inside a man’s mind, how attraction works for him and how to turn that initial connection into a lifelong commitment.
And, if that isn’t all you’re after, the second section of the book is all about the “emotional world” of men and women.
If you’ve ever wondered why a man reacted the way he did, why he withdrew, or why he responded with frustration when all you were looking for was emotional connection, then you’ve got to read this section, too.
You can download my eBook and be reading it in just a few minutes by going here:
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Hadley Finch
