Are you loving your new single life after divorce or a big break up? Can you ever be too happy to date? Find out why you might be too blissed out for a dating relationship and how you can change that.
While in New York for the National Publicity Summit in April, I made a real date with a virtual date I’d met through an online dating site for Ivy League Graduates. I’m happy to report it was like at first sight.
We each beamed a big smile the moment our virtual connection became real. We only had an hour to get acquainted because I had a ticket for a Broadway play that evening. So we talked fast. Sparks flew, until he dropped a bombshell.
“My life is great, and I can’t imagine being any happier with someone else in it,” he said.
I felt the door slam on our dating possibilities. Was this a new brush-off technique? Had he been drained of relationship enthusiasm by his ex-wife or girlfriends since his divorce? Didn’t he know that shared joy is doubled and shared sorrow is halved? Or was he truly too happy to make room in his successful life for a dating relationship?
I didn’t have time to explore these issues with him. As I hopped on the subway to get to the theater on time, I remembered a recent NEWSWEEK article on happiness.
Studies prove that happier people do better on almost any dimension of well-being–health, wealth, relationships, contributing to the community–than do less happy people. But the happiest people aren’t the biggest go-getters. That’s due to a complicated phenomenon called “adaptation”.
Here’s my simple spin on adaptation as it relates to our community of singles:
If your single life is endlessly satisfying and happy, you have no motivation to change it.
Slightly less happy people remain energized, but they are hungrier and more driven to achieve and to fulfill unmet needs than extremely happy people.
Happy people tend to create happy relationships. But what if you’re too happy to feel a yearning to reach out and love again? Hanging out with unhappy friends or spending time in a blues club just might change that!
And if you feel a yearning to meet savvy singles for video chats, special events and travel adventures, I invite you to enjoy a free, one-month membership in the Singles Club of Tribe Of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient, hopeful spirit that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.
Claim your free trial membership when you click SINGLES CLUB at the top of this page. Enjoy!