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Dating Q & A – Did Polyamory Replace Monogamy in Relationships?

Dating Question:

I received a shocking invitation from a divorced man I met on a dating site a few years ago. We live 2000 miles apart, and when he first traveled to meet me and my teenage children, we each sensed that friendship was our fate. We’ve stayed in touch by phone and email, feeling deep affection and acting like long-distance cheerleaders for each other. He’s been dating a woman for a year, which is why I was stunned to receive his email asking if I would consider a polyamory relationship with him.

A what?

I googled the term and learned it means simultaneously loving more than one person in an intimate, candid relationship. They used to call this a love triangle–which was the reason my marriage broke up when my former husband secretly loved two women at once. Discovering this affair was so painful, I won’t inflict that on anyone–no matter how attracted I am to the man who proposed it.

That’s what I said in my e-reply. Then he replied that many believe monogamy is outdated. With a 50 % divorce rate, many couples accept that we aren’t designed to be with one person exclusively for a lifetime. He said there is no betrayal of trust in polyamory since there is no secrecy. He said the happiest couples he knows are openly doing this.

In recent years I’ve avoided a string of “players” who want to date many women at once. If polyamory dating has replaced monogamy in relationships, am I too outdated to date?

Dating Answer:

The polyamory dating trend isn’t for everyone. You aren’t interested, and you’re not alone. Many singles still seek hot monogamy in a committed relationship. Unfortunately, many couples may not know how to keep the heat in monogamy, which places their relationship at risk.

Since like attracts like, it’s clear that you and your long-distance friend have opposing views of a quality relationship so you are not a compatible match.

To find your best love match, be sure to mention your desire for hot monogamy in your dating profile, assuming you join a dating site, and in your dating conversations as you get to know a date. This helps you sort through singles who don’t share your vision, and it spares you the heartbreak of being with someone who won’t passionately commit to loving you the way you desire and deserve. Trust that your ideal match is out there waiting to find you, so keep dating until you feel that mutual click of shared values for a happy relationship.

And now I invite you to enjoy a free membership in the social network and travel club I created for positive singles. No more blind dates, since you meet the savvy Tribe Of Singles in cozy video chats and exciting travel vacations for every budget from nearly free volunteer vacations to ultimate luxury trips. Meet singles free when you click on SINGLES CLUB in the menu bar and sign up now. Enjoy!

Love deeply and live your dreams now,

Hadley Finch

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