Hadley’s intro: Discover how you may feel happier
by savoring a happiness habit,
courtesy of a NY Times Guest Post by Jenny Taitz
Psychologists call it reward sensitivity. And
simple steps can help you boost your drive to seek
out positive emotions and enjoy life.
By Jenny Taitz
Jenny Taitz is a practicing psychologist and an
assistant clinical professor of psychiatry.
Aug. 19, 2024
Updated 10:24 a.m. ET
We’ve all experienced it: the urge to withdraw
and duck experiences we know we’ll enjoy —
even when a mood boost is what we need most. We
skip the birthday party. We cancel lunch. They
just don’t seem worth the effort. And then, more
likely than not, we feel worse than we did before.
So how do you find the motivation to get out
there, especially when you’re feeling low,
stressed, tired or lonely? One proven strategy is
to strengthen what psychologists call your reward
sensitivity.
Our drive to seek out happiness is a muscle that
we can develop. So is our ability to relish
experiences. And almost anyone can learn to amp up
their reward sensitivity by training themselves to
notice and savor their positive emotions. That’s
even true for people with depression and anxiety
who struggle to experience pleasure, a condition
called anhedonia.
Of course, all of us have trouble pursuing
pleasure sometimes. I recently took my young sons
to the beach for the weekend. Hours before our
getaway, I learned a friend had died. Numbed by
the news, I was in no mood to have a good time,
even though I wanted to make things special for my
family.
It’s part of my job as a therapist to teach
people how to manage their emotions. And as I tell
my patients, it’s possible to honor legitimate
sources of pain and still recognize that moments
of brightness improve our well-being.
The research-backed strategies below, which I use
in my practice, helped me to make the most of our
trip.
Reward sensitivity and mental health.
When it comes to mental health treatment, doctors
and therapists tend to focus on easing their
patients’ negative symptoms — they want “to
take away the bad,” explained Alicia Meuret, a
professor of psychology at Southern Methodist
University.
Yet most of us don’t just need to reduce pain,
we also need to boost joy.
In fact, improving positive emotions can be a
higher priority for patients than containing their
depressive symptoms. And research shows that
treatments based on this idea can be effective.
A 2023 study co-led by Dr. Meuret found that when
adults experiencing depression or anxiety
participated in 15 weeks of psychotherapy focused
on enhancing positive emotions, they reported more
improvement than a group whose therapy focused on
reducing negative emotions.
Shorter interventions have shown benefits as well.
A 2024 study of 85 students, led by Lucas
LaFreniere, an assistant professor of psychology
at Skidmore College, gave subjects with anxiety
regular smartphone prompts to plan pleasurable
activities, savor positive moments and look
forward to future positive events. After a week,
they showed significantly improved feelings of
optimism.
* An exercise to boost your reward sensitivity.
To raise your reward sensitivity, you can try an
exercise based on the treatment plans in these
studies. Make it a daily practice for as long as
it’s helpful, but commit to at least a week.
Begin by planning one activity per day that will
make you happy or give you a sense of
accomplishment. This will make you less likely to
postpone positive experiences. Be realistic — it
can be as small as treating yourself to a favorite
snack, reading a few pages of a novel or
FaceTiming a friend.
After you’ve enjoyed that daily moment, close
your eyes and recount out loud, in the present
tense, where and when you experienced the greatest
joy. Home in on details and physical sensations,
like the breeze cooling your face as the sun
shines. This all might feel hokey, but don’t
gloss over the specifics, Dr. Meuret cautioned.
The idea isn’t just to remember how you felt,
but to amplify and re-experience it.
Psychologists call the process of identifying and
immersing in positive emotions savoring.
“Growing the glow of positive emotions,” as
Dr. LaFreniere put it, strengthens your memory of
them, and increases your motivation to seek them
out going forward. Savoring also helps counteract
the very human tendency to focus on and remember
negative aspects of an event: the friend who was
15 minutes late, the thing you wish you hadn’t
said.
** More ways to stretch positive feelings.
Here are some more subtle but powerful tweaks you
can make to nurture a positive mind-set.
* Expand your joy vocabulary: Many of us struggle to
label our positive emotions much beyond fine, good
or great. But research suggests that finding more
words to describe those feelings can validate and
intensify them, Dr. Meuret said. When reflecting
on how something made you feel, try to be precise,
using words like serene, elated, exhilarated,
delighted, inspired.
* Share your highlight reel: Think about the details
you typically volunteer when asked about your day
or a recent trip. It can be tempting to vent. But
broadcasting what made you happiest can make you
feel better, spread that happiness to another
person — and also strengthen a bond, said
Charlie Taylor, an associate professor of
psychiatry at the University of California, San
Diego, who researches social reward sensitivity.
* Find silver linings: With practice, it’s
possible to notice the positives hidden in things
that we might first see as negative, Dr. Taylor
said. For example, if you invited co-workers to
get together and only one person showed up, you
could easily view that as a failure. But the
silver lining, he said, would be that you got to
know that one person better.
*Forecast future wins: If looking at your calendar
sparks dread, Dr. Meuret said, pick an event
that’s approaching and think of the best
possible outcome. If you’re tired and want to
back out of meeting a friend for a workout,
picture an especially energizing class. Imagine
smiling at each other across the room, feeling
proud. Using imagery can encourage motivation and
prime you for more uplifting experiences, Dr.
Meuret explained.
*Give yourself permission to feel happy.
Keep in mind, too, that it’s normal to sometimes
feel uncomfortable with pleasurable feelings,
particularly if you experience depression and
anxiety.
“Some people can feel vulnerable when they let
themselves feel good,” Dr. LaFreniere said.
Worrying can make you feel like you’re ready to
respond to threats — but by constantly prepping
for disaster, he said, we miss the happiness in
front of us right now.
On my recent weekend trip with my kids, it was a
challenge to let myself have fun. But sharing
s’mores by the glistening ocean still filled me
with lingering delight. I made sure to pause and
savor the best parts, like when some florists gave
us fistfuls of hydrangeas and roses from a wedding
arch they were taking apart alongside the beach. I
felt waves of sadness crashing through the trip,
thinking of the friend I had lost, but letting
myself bask in love and levity helped me find my
balance again.
“The truth is,” Dr. LaFreniere said,
“sometimes we need to behave like happy people
if we actually want to be happy.”
Jenny Taitz is a licensed clinical psychologist
and an assistant clinical professor in psychiatry
at the University of California, Los Angeles. Her
latest book is “Stress Resets: How to Soothe
Your Body and Mind in Minutes.” More about Jenny
Taitz
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What will you savor today to enhance your happiness?
Hadley Finch
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