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Spouse Abuse: Leaving Your Mate Alone but Married

Mythical Odysseus left his wife, Penelope, alone but married, while he was away on important missions.
Modern psychiatrists say it’s a form of spouse abuse when one spouse leaves the other spouse alone by not being present or emotionally connected in their daily life.

What starts the alone but married scenario?

Today’s man may leave his wife alone in their home, alone in her dreams of a happy family life, alone on the outskirts of his demanding corporate life, and alone in bed by being away or by being unavailable for an active sex life that supports sexual healing in both partners.

What’s the fallout of leaving your spouse alone but married?

The left-alone spouse feels the lonely isolation of being single, along with lonely restrictions of being married. The left-alone spouse can’t find intimate companionship elsewhere without breaking marriage vows, so they feel stuck with the lack of loving attention and support from a devoted mate.

What’s the antidote?

For many left-alone spouses, the only antidote to their lonely isolation is divorce, often after years of angry nagging, complaining, or demanding more time and attention from their unavailable spouse failed to produce an intimate connection.

What’s unique about today’s alone but married scenario?

Man isn’t the only one who leaves his spouse alone. Now that modern woman has attained power, prowess and profitability on her own career missions, she also can commit spouse abuse by leaving her mate alone but married.

How do men and women justify leaving their spouse alone but married?

A common justification is that their career success supports a luxurious lifestyle that eludes most couples.

Does being surrounded by signs of success diminish a deep desire to love and be loved in daily life with your spouse?

It does not, unless you married them only for the trappings of success.

Could the emotional void created by an unavailable spouse ever be filled without nagging, complaining, or demanding more time and attention?

Absolutely. Here are positive ways the left-alone spouse may inspire their partner to be present more often in their marriage:

* Express appreciation for their dedication to and success in their career and the benefits it provides
* Describe your dream for a happy relationship and ask about their dream for your best relationship. Then take steps to make dreams real
* Suggest fun activities you both enjoy doing together when your spouse is at home
* Suggest simple ways your spouse could share the responsibility to make home life wonderful
* Start doing daily rituals together, like drinking coffee before work or reviewing the day during a foot rub after work
* Offer to be a love genie on weekly date night and fulfill their sexual wish that brings pleasure without pain
* Use tender touch each day to express affection and appreciation outside of the bedroom
* Find qualities and behaviors to compliment and improve interactions, since it takes 5 positive actions to make up for one negative criticism or complaint
* Acknowledge the bread winner by expressing gratitude for blessings and opportunities their work provides and remind them of ways you create a safe haven and support the well being of your spouse, yourself and your family
* Do what you need to do to be a great sexual partner and your partner may follow your lead
* Do loving acts throughout the day, for your spouse, yourself, your family, because Love is more than a feeling. Love is an action word. Do loving actions that you’d like your spouse to do for you. Why? When you give what you’re lacking, then the lack is gone.

Doing loving actions each day improves your interactions and inspires better behavior in your partner, without you having to ask. How else could you inspire your spouse to enjoy more time with you so you both will–

Get all the happy, sexy love you desire in a relationship

Hadley Finch

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About Hadley Finch

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