Everyone becomes a better lover, once you discover how to enjoy and take your relationship through 7 stages of sex on the path to sexual ecstasy. Thus far in our series, you discovered how to move through the first four stages of sex, the dull, dispassionate stages where many breakups occur. Now, find out how to reach a sexual peak of pleasure in highlights of my radio conversation for A Lasting Love with Dr. Michael Broder, www.StageClimbing.com
Dr. Michael is a renowned psychologist and author whose best-selling books and audio programs help you enhance intimacy and increase sexual pleasure.
Hadley: The average couple is burdened by duties and deadlines and tends to have dispassionate sex, which you call Stage five sex. How does a couple move out of that stage?
Dr. Michael: Again, in Stage 5, you see sex as a role. It’s part of a marriage, it feels good, it’s adult play, it’s not often orgasmic, it’s fine but not passionate like in the early days. That’s where many couples are stuck, even couples who say they’re happy together.
Hadley: Couples settle for a dispassionate sex life, because they don’t know there are sexual peaks to reach. They don’t know how to rekindle passion and feel more pleasure in sex. How do you move into the peak stages of sex?
Dr. Michael: Stage six and seven are the target stages of sexual ecstasy, where you want to be. Every couple could reach stage six sex, if they did something this simple:
It’s being able to give your partner access to the part of your brain that knows what turns you on.
It’s sharing your fantasies, acting on your fantasies, explaining how you like to be touched and held, what types of sex you enjoy most.
You’re not doing this for your partner, but for yourself, because it all comes back to you.
Hadley: So it’s giving yourself and your partner permission to expose desires that you may have hidden, but it’s safe to bring it out in your relationship.
Dr. Michael: Make it okay to do that, without putting each other down for what your fantasies are or aren’t. Couples who breathe in unison, while having sex, often experience more sexual pleasure.
Hadley: Is breathing in unison a natural outcome of great sex? Or do you breathe together to build a great sex habit?
Dr. Michael: You practice doing this. Something that doesn’t feel natural at first can become extremely pleasurable if you want it to be.
Hadley: Time to end our suspense. Tell us how we reach the ultimate peak of ecstasy in Stage seven sex.
Dr. Michael: In this stage, you see sex as a way of deepening the connection between the two of you, even on a spiritual level. Your focus is off of yourself and on your partner. Then all the pleasure comes back to you.
Hadley: So you give pleasure and automatically receive pleasure, like the Boomerang effect?
Dr. Michael: Exactly. Some new couples naturally start out having Stage seven sex. It’s not because you’ve grown into spiritual sex, but because you are on a dopamine high. If you survive that high together, you are in a long term relationship. Sex is not as spontaneous. You’re not in the phase where anything you do feels good and you don’t have to talk about anything.
Hadley: Couples naturally enjoy the initial dopamine high but need to learn how to survive the dopamine fall, which can happen anytime from a few months to a few years. Couples must be aware that the initial rush of dopamine will fall, and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with your relationship. If you care about each other, then talk about how you will fulfill your sexual fantasies and connect spiritually through sex to reach a peak of ecstasy you deserve.
To hear my entire chat with Dr. Michael Broder, click here
You’ll also meet great singles during our first Love Breakthrough Experience and Spa Weekend at Heartland Spa outside of Chicago. I’ll help you make a quantum leap to love as you savor Heartland Spa’s superb meals, fitness classes, hikes, and luxurious spa treatments. Plus you meet great singles who value great health, fitness and love and enjoy this all-inclusive weekend adventure in award-winning Heartland Spa. There still are openings for our Singles Weekend in August so call to reserve your spot now: 1-800-545-4853 International 1-815-683-2182
In a relationship? Look for our Couples Love Breakthrough Experience and Spa Weekend, coming soon to Heartland Spa.
Get the red-hot relationship you deserve,
Hadley Finch
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