You may understand what a courageous lover is by considering its opposite. A cowardly lover is someone who lets their fears and limiting beliefs stop them from loving deeply, truly and passionately.
A cowardly lover can become courageous by speaking your truth from your heart and by taking 7 simple steps which I’ve summarized from my radio interview with Michael Sherman, a relationship coach and founder of Courageous Loving Nation.
How To Be a Courageous Lover in 7 steps:
Step 1. Clearing
It means getting present and clearing out anything that bothers you or blocks your full awareness in each moment. Journaling, exercising or meditating can help you clear your distracting thoughts and become fully focused and present.
Step 2. Accountability
Stop blaming others for troubles and take 100 percent responsibility for your affect on others. You can’t get to the next step without this. You look inside and be gentle and honest with yourself to uncover your role in creating issues.
Step 3. Validation
Get out of yourself and walk in the shoes of your partner to figure out what motivates them to act the way they do. Begin to feel compassion for their back story. Ask yourself why you chose this person to be your teacher. What lesson do you need to learn from them?
Step 4. Visualization
Be aware that you’ve attracted someone into your life so that you can ask yourself one key question: Who are my relationships calling me to become? Visualize the type of person you need to become to make a relationship work.
Imagine the best qualities you need to resolve this situation in the best way possible. This teacher is calling you to be great. You may not know what that greatness is yet. So you have to take a look at the situation and visualize a role model on whom you could pattern your behavior.
Some women visualize Angelina Jolie as their powerful role model who can handle any situation. Men choose a variety of powerful role models to rev up their inner power.
Step 5. Practice
Once you’ve seen the vision of the inner power of your higher self, you keep tapping into it through daily practice.
Step 6. Higher Self
Your higher self is the best version of you. You begin to get a sense of your strongest place, your higher purpose and the sense of destiny that your relationships are directing you toward.
Think of what you want to contribute to the world from your higher self. You will accomplish things you never could have imagined before you took these steps.
Step 7. Mastery
Now that you’ve gone through all steps, you stay present consistently, deal calmly with issues as they arise, and you share these powerful energies with other people.
What if you don’t take or master these 7 steps?
Then you consistently will be presented with the same situations, patterns and problems until you face these issues and use them as a guidepost for personal growth.
Once you uncover your patterns of frustration and understand what people are in your life to teach you, then you can rise into your greatness in the way you handle people and issues. You don’t change the other person. You simply change the way you work with them.
How can dating singles become courageous lovers?
Be sure to look at your previous relationships and find the patterns of issues that you consistently face. Then see your higher self making sense of those patterns. You might make some changes to become a more positive, vibrant, courageous lover. Because like attracts like, you will draw courageous lovers to you.
We also are attracted to our Imago–people who emotionally throw salt on your old wounds that need to be healed.
We are programmed to look for people who remind us of our parents. The purpose of a relationship with an Imago is to help you complete your childhood issues. An Imago partner will help bring you peace, and you will work out the rough edges of your personality with them.
What are the stages of loving in relationships?
There are stages of relationships with a natural progression from attraction to commitment to transformation.
Commitment means you accept parts of this person that drive you nuts. You will feel more relaxed about the people who frustrate you once you understand how they are calling you to be a better you and fulfill your destiny.
Get all the happy, sexy love you desire,
Hadley Finch