Dr. Pete, who’d earned a Ph.D in sports psychology and a senior olympic gold medal, had been divorced twice before he chose the right mate. He wanted his three college-age sons to avoid his mistakes, so he gave them his keys to choosing their best mate.
That was twenty years ago. Did his three sons follow or reject his dating and mate selection advice?
Dr. Pete said the only son who didn’t follow it is already two years ahead of his own divorce pace. His other two sons who used his keys are in happy marriages.
Dr. Pete said he wished his own parents would have given him this advice and saved him from discovering it the hard way.
Here are his 12 Keys to Choosing a Mate — for Guys Only
1. NEVER marry a woman who is living at home.
Her parents are still paying the bills to enable her behaviors. Once the marriage license is signed YOU will be paying those same bills for car, insurance, rent, food, clothes, entertainment, and personal items.
2. Marry a woman who is 25 or older, and you are closer to 30.
She will have had a job for several years after college to know the value of a dollar and paying her own bills with a budget, good credit rating, savings, and no debt to help with a down payment on a home to make it equal.
She will be independent and not require constant attention for her happiness, and better at identifying and providing for her own needs. She must be more self-reliant and confident to eventually help support a family through the ups and downs.
3. NEVER marry a woman who does not experience orgasm frequently.
She must know how to stimulate herself by now and be able to mentally get ready to make love. She must also want sex to initiate and seduce her lover to keep the man interested for a lifetime.
She must want the man to fulfill her sexual desires and fantasies, and be able to communicate what she wants her man to do to her when making love.
4. Marry a woman with thin upper arms and shoulder girdle if you expect her to remain thin in a long marriage.
Otherwise, just go out and marry a fat girl. To the contrary, it is not the thickness of the ankles that matters most.
5. DO NOT marry a woman who likes to argue with you over small details.
This kind of personality will always want to organize and run your life, and never be satisfied with what you can provide her because she has not been able to learn how to provide for her own needs.
She may also be trait insecure, and need to have you do things only as she would do them. This will drive you crazy in short order.
6. Accept who you are to each other, and realize from the start that you will not change the other for the better – it will not happen.
If you rely on your partner to make your life complete you are making a huge mistake. You need to be secure in your acceptance of your life and roles you play before entering a marriage partnership.
7. Never marry a high maintenance woman who cannot provide for her own needs financially and emotionally.
Otherwise you will never have a life of your own to realize your purpose and significance, and down the road you will resent her.
Princesses are only in fairy tales. Learn to work for and accept what you have earned and not acquired freely from someone else’s efforts.
8. Date the woman you marry for all four seasons.
A woman can fool a man for three but not all four seasons.
9. Marry a woman with similar experiences.
If you are gregarious, a traveler without reservations, a camper and outdoors type, prefer simple pleasures, and set no timetables, then you will need an adaptable personality to be your partner with a similar nervous system.
Otherwise you will spend your whole marriage trying to live up to the other’s expectations, and waste time trying to change each other.
10. If you have children from a previous marriage, marry a woman who also loves them as they are a part of you.
If the kids do not like her, they sense something is wrong with the overall relationship. You can give them time to accept her. If they still don’t, then listen to their reasons in greater depth.
Take your time. A lot is at stake, and you do not want a repeat divorce performance – it can cost you dearly.
11. Accept the 20% rule.
If you can be happy experiencing only 20% of the kind of great sex you had during your infatuation stage early on and sometimes throughout the first five to seven years (where seven year itch gets its name),
if you can be happy sittings at home with a kid or two watching a rented movie and still want to hold hands and you feel she is your best friend– then marry her on the spot.
This kind of woman is hard to find. It does not surprise me to learn of men who have been cut off from all the things the woman did to attract and catch the guy that they don’t do anymore, and then wonder why the guy is cheating on them looking for it somewhere else.
What is worse is that women think the guy is the real bad person for cheating on them, yet they were the ones who cheat their men out of the kind of love and sex they had before marriage and could have had during their marriage.
The keys to a long lasting marriage are to keep the variety and spice flowing.
Treat every day as if you were still courting, and never let the sun set on any problem.
Let the little things go. To make a mountain out of a mole hill only breeds more contempt and loss of love.
On the other hand, if you contemplate fooling around after you are married, then don’t marry. Divorce is very costly. Compare this cost to buying tricks on the street. You could afford to get laid at $50 per experience twice a week, and it would still only cost you about $5,000 a year.
In a five year marriage gone bad, it will cost you more than $25,000, so take your time.
Marriage is not to be taken lightly. It is one of the most important decision you will make in your life. If all else fails, consider your own helping hand at the end of your arm. It will cost you nothing.
12. Never make the move to follow a woman. This will always leave you high and dry as she will upgrade to a new mate the first chance she gets.
What’s your reaction to Dr. Pete’s advice to his sons?
If you received this advice from your father, how would you respond?
If you’re a father, what other pre-marital advice would you tell your sons?
And find out how I help single men and women choose your perfect love match with step-by-step guidelines when you begin to power your relationships for greater success and love. Get your relationship success toolkit at GreaterSuccessAndLove.com
Love deeply and live your dreams now,