The heartache of a romance or marriage falling apart can slam you to your knees, limit your performance at work and steal your joy in parenting or living. Grieving any devastating loss in life and love can harm your health and even shorten your life. You don’t have to suffer any longer.
Here’s good news for involuntary singles who’ve been dumped, for employees who’ve been downsized out of a job, and for anyone who wants to end heartbreak and bounce back quickly from the toughest setbacks. You’ll make a magical recovery from grieving any loss and make your life better than ever with success tools you gain in highlights of my radio interview with Donna Marie Thompson, Ph.D. She wrote the bestselling book, Bouncing Back From Loss: How To Learn From Your Past, Build The Present and Transform Your Future.
H. F. : Why do so many of us have to hit bottom while grieving a loss before we look for a path out of pain?
Dr. Thompson: The lowest level of energy is being the victim of a loss. Getting stuck in victim way of thinking actually drains your energy so you can’t pull yourself out of it.
H.F. When I was on my knees in grief after the tragic loss of my marriage, I eventually found a remedy in this Sufi saying: When the heart grieves over what it lost, the spirit rejoices over what is left. Giving thanks for the love and blessings that remain in life creates more feelings of love and gratitude that lift you up from your knees. How do you help people make an instant shift from grief to gratitude and love?
Dr. Thompson: I help people end heartbreak and bounce back from loss by using 5 steps I call my 5 E’s:
1. Explore what happened by writing in your journal.
The more you unload in your journaling, the less emotional weight you carry.
2. Eliminate unwanted feelings.
You may have no idea you can control your feelings, but you can let go of painful feelings and choose feelings that support and strengthen you. It’s your choice.
Set time boundaries for grieving a certain number of hours each day and stick to it. If you’re angry, decide how much time you’ll spend each day being angry. As soon as you reach your daily quota, then move on to other emotions and actions. This is a gradual process that lets people have their grief and angry feelings but limit them. You discover it’s your life and your time, so why will you devote all your energy to thoughts and feelings that drag you down?
If you need help in the beginning, seek counseling or medication from an M.D. Keep the faith that this too shall pass.
3. Embrace the Situation.
Accept that “What Is IS.”
Looking back at past and thinking “What if” and “If only,” actually serves no purpose except wasting your time.
4. Envision your new future.
Start shedding even more of your past that you’d planned before your loss.
Realize that you now can make new choices that change the course of your life.
Stop seeing what you’ve lost and see what you have.
5. Energize your present opportunities and help others do the same.
Shifting your focus away from yourself and toward helping others is a great healer of grief.
Hadley Finch recommends:
I encourage you to use Dr. Thompson’s 5 E’s and other success tools to bounce back from the toughest setbacks in life and love and show your children how it’s done. We are their love guides and success guides. We teach by example how to be resilient optimists who believe in Great Love even when faced with great loss.
Get all the happy sexy love you desire,