Because sex addicts can be so skilled at hiding their addiction, you may not find out that you are dating or even married to one until you’ve been together for years. In Part 1 of my radio discussion for A Lasting Love with former NBA player and coach, Winston Bennett, he bravely revealed how he hid thousands of affairs from his wife for years, and he gave us clues of sexual addiction to look for in a partner or potential match. Now Winston tells us the unvarnished truth of how his sexual addiction cost him his NBA career and nearly his marriage before he faced it.
HF: Again, I applaud your bravery in telling us how you hit bottom before you sought treatment for sexual addiction. Your career as assistant coach for the Boston Celtics had rivaled years of success in playing for the Cleveland Cavaliers and Miami Heat. Tell us how your NBA career ended because of an inappropriate sexual relationship.
WB: I got to the height of my NBA career as an assistant coach to Rick Pitino for the Boston Celtics. We had been practicing as a team at Brandeis University, since we didn’t have our own practice facility at the time. I had been sleeping with a student at Brandeis University for many months. There was a team rule I didn’t know about. Even though I had passed out the rule book to the team, I didn’t read it. The rule was that we were supposed to use the practice facility at Brandeis and not carouse or get involved with anyone on campus.
I remember the day Rick Pitino called me at six a.m. when we normally started practice, and he asked me if I had been sleeping with a lady on Brandeis campus. I said I was. He said I had jeopardized the Celtics contract with Brandeis, and he had to fire me over this.
HF: So you were honest about your affair. You didn’t deny it or lie about it.
WB: Exactly. That came from the way I was brought up. You don’t compound a problem by lying about it. So I thought it was best that I tell the truth, even though it was my career and possibly my marriage on the line. After that call, I had a 45 minute drive to go home and explain this to my wife.
HF: She had no inkling about your addiction until then? Or had she found the signs of sex addiction, like phone numbers in your pockets and rubbers or viagra that you weren’t using with her?
WB: We had been through plenty of situations before this. But up until this point, we were looking at it as isolated situations where I had messed up as a man. And my wife went through hectic pain, screaming and feeling everything a women goes through when the the bridge of trust has been betrayed. But still she had that God type mentality to forgive me and think I wasn’t going to do it anymore. And then I come home with this news.
HF: How did Winston Bennett repair and rebuild his marriage, recover from sex addiction and reinvent his career?
Get his unvarnished answers in Part 3 of the summary of our radio discussion on the clues and cure for sex addiction. Winston’s book and mentoring organization (which he runs with his wife) are called “Fight for Your Life” — available at www.WinstonBennett.net
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