What happens when you feel sparks of mutual delight in a dating relationship, and then a red flag appears? Do you run at the first sign of trouble without explaining your reasons or giving your date a chance to self correct? Leaving a dating relationship for dead without doing couples CPR can be a fatal dating mistake.
Here is what to do instead:
Know that there will be differences in the ways you and your date see and deal with daily life. These differences can be exciting, irritating or alarming. If a red-flagged issue could harm your well being, then heed the warning and move on.
If you sense the potential for a loving positive relationship to develop if not for this red flag, then you may choose to see your differences as a source of growth and a reason to begin couples CPR.
What is couples CPR?
It is the steps you take to revive the heartbeat of your relationship by revving up three relationship skills:
Speak from your heart as to how your divergent view, behavior or issue makes you feel.
Ask for your date’s feelings and reactions.
Start a dialogue and see where it leads. Are you digging in rocky, resistant turf? Or are you cultivating seeds for growth as a couple?
The endorphins of romance, what I call Cupid’s Cocktails, may cloud your view of reality or red flags early in a dating relationship. When a red flag eventually appears, ask yourself a few questions and take appropriate actions:
Is your date mirroring a weakness in yourself that you need to strengthen? If so, your date is inspiring your personal growth.
Are you painting your past hurts onto your date’s words or actions? If so, it’s time to remove the veil of your past so you can clearly see and enjoy the now.
Is your date’s behavior or value system serious grounds to end the relationship? If not, can you work through this minor block to love as a team?
Know that the dominant vibration wins. You can change the vibration of your thoughts and actions the same way you change the show you are watching on TV– by flipping the channel from a horror flick to a light-hearted comedy. You can choose to rise above any negative behavior by consistently flipping the switch to a better behavior.
After six months to a year of steady dating, most adults know whether their life makes better sense with or without this special person in it. By using couples CPR in your dating process, you are improving your communication skills that you need to create healthy relationships and lasting love.
As always, I’d value your candid comments. Let’s start a dialogue about Couples CPR. Have you experienced success with it? Are you eager to try it? Tell us your thoughts in the comment box below this post.
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,