Previously in our Brain In Love series, you discovered how to change brain habits of negative thinking and gain proven health and happiness benefits of The Marriage Effect, even if you’re single. Now see how to release the stress of a life crisis in highlights of my radio conversation for A Lasting Love with Dr. Sean Sullivan.
Dr. Sean is a Harvard-educated psychologist in private practice in San Francisco. He guides people on Mind Master Journeys world wide.
Hadley: Now let’s help people who are going through a life crisis. I went through a crisis when my marriage ended tragically. I felt like my heart would explode from stress, so I went to a cardiologist asking, “Heart attack or heart break?”
The heart doctor said “Heart break, but you can die from it.” So you have incentive to beat stress before it rewires your brain and beats you. What if you can’t get out of a stressful rut? How do you break that cycle when you’re in its claws?
Dr. Sean: That is the most difficult time, to solve a problem when you’re in an emotional state that a problem created. So it’s a challenging question. I have a couple suggestions.
First thing to recognize is that our bodies react to tragedies in our lives, and that’s natural. And that takes time. The idea of immediate healing is not practical, because it would be counter to how your body deals with life.
But when you get stuck in a pattern of being down and depressed over a longer period of time, now your body should be moving through it. And that it suggests that your thought process has been holding you back, if it’s a sustained, depressed experience.
So what I talk to people about doing in that situation, we covered earlier. Getting very clear about what you want your new life to be. Things are going to have to get changed your life, especially if you’ve had a significant loss, and a person in your life is no longer there who was there before.
So getting clear of how you want the next phase of your life to look like is really important. From there I have people create “triggers” in your home environment that remind you of your vision of how you want to live.
For example, you might take a favorite painting, or an old blanket, or any favorite object that you have at home, and you would associate that object, or maybe couple of them that you see throughout the day, with this very clear definition of how you want to be living.
Maybe you’ve defined your life as loving, kind, joyful, low stress. And you have all the thoughts that you know go along with those emotional states. And so you you start to design your environment, your home, to trigger this best self that you expect to be.
If you repeatedly see these objects in your home and each time you see them you allow them to remind you of the healing process and who you want to become, then over time it plays a similar role as this change to your inner dialogue. Because it produces a new inner movie for you. That’s one suggestion to get out of a rut.
Hadley: That is a fabulous suggestion. And it fits with what the Dalai Lama recommends to get over an addiction, and negative, destructive thinking can be an addiction. And that is to replace it with something better. Doing that, by exclusively keeping your vision on the new life you want to create, you’ll feel better and you’ll be creating something better every day.
This is how adults can get unstuck from depressed, destructive ruts of thinking. How do we teach our children to do this at a young age? How do children choose better thoughts to be more successful in relationships with your peers, your family, to get better grades, better focus?
Get the answers in highlights of the Brain In Love Episode Of A Lasting Love. Want to hear the entire episode now? Click here.
And what if you’re going through a stressful breakup, lover’s rejection, or death of a beloved partner?
I’ll help you release the stress of lost love and get ways to be happy, to feel loved and lovable, no matter who is or isn’t sleeping beside you.
I’ve used these remedies to heal my own trauma over lost love when my marriage ended tragically. They’ll work for you, too. Claim your free video. Let’s get started now
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