In Part 1, you discovered the riskiest dating mistakes that can leave you hassled, broken-hearted or worse. You also learned what to do instead to enjoy a safe, exciting love quest.
Now you’ll get sure-fire signs that your date is a great love match or red-flags that you should run the other way in highlights of my radio chat with America’s Dating Doc, Shawn David Jackson. Shawn wrote for millions of singles each month on Yahoo! Personals and Match.com’s Happen Magazine, and he earned rave reviews for writing the Dating Survival Guide.
HF: Tell us why some singles feel they can tell a person’s character from a few interactions with a potential love match.
SDJ: Sometimes we put so much emphasis on physical looks and attraction that we ignore other very important factors that make up a person. Some red flags to look for are how a person deals with anger or stress. Nobody should allow violence against you. If there is a hint or verbal insinuation that this person could be violent, then cut off the relationship immediately.
HF: Let’s say you’re out on a date when a new love interest gets too angry or starts losing control. What’s the safest way to handle it?
SDJ: It’s best to be in control of your transportation. If you’ve met someone at an event and things go sour, then you can leave the situation and get home safely. Again, you don’t tolerate any form of violence in a dating relationship. The first outburst of uncontrollable anger is your cue to move on and find a more positive, healthy match.
HF: What clues tell you that a date is a great match who’s on your love wavelength?
SDJ: The first clue to look for is your date’s purpose in dating. Are they lonely? Looking for fun? Looking for a rebound relationship after a breakup? Looking for Mr. or Ms. Right? We have a tendency to project onto an attractive single person that they want the same thing that we do in dating, and often that just isn’t true.
HF: I often advise my online community to ask one question on a first date with an intriguing match: “Are you dating anyone?”
When you pay close attention to their answer, you can tell their stage of dating. If they’re dating for fun and you’re ready to create a great long-term relationship, then the timing isn’t right for you to get involved with them.
You will avoid the heartbreak of dead-end dating when you wait until you find someone on your love wavelength who’s looking for the same things you are– before you enter a dating relationship with them. What other signs reveal whether a match is right for you?
SDJ: I encourage singles to ask someone, “What’s your idea of an ideal date?” Then you find out their purpose in dating without making them feel you’re interviewing them.
HF: I also recommend that you ask someone about their idea of a great relationship. Some people can’t even imagine that a blissful, happy relationship is possible. This is a red flag which reveals they need to learn some new love skills before they can build a great relationship with lasting love. Let’s turn to the lighter side of dating. Who pays the check?
SDJ: We usually look at the ways a man pays for dates as the way he’d be the provider in a marriage. If it’s always a pay-your-own-way date, then you’ll have a hard time finding out if he’ll be a good provider.
HF: Or he’s telling you that he wants a woman to be equal financial partners in a relationship. Some men actually say they want a woman to support him. That’s another red flag, since researchers report that men have a primal need in their DNA to pursue and provide for a woman. If she’s pursuing and paying for the man, then he won’t activate his wooing instinct. And she may win the heart of a man who doesn’t value or cherish her. That is not a solid foundation for a happy relationship with lasting love.
And you can get Shawn David Jackson’s dating survival guide at http://buytheguide.com
Get all the happy, sexy love you desire,