Do you know how to win affection and influence attraction in your dating relationship? I’m always looking for new tips to help you improve your relationships. Today, I invite you to look back to 1936 and consider the action tips from a best-selling book by Dale Carnegie, How To Win Friends And Influence People.
The sole purpose of this book is to help you solve the biggest problem you face: the problem of getting along with and influencing people in your everyday, business and social contacts. Carnegie’s tips and techniques to improve our relationships are based on a keen understanding of human psychology which remains true today. When you read the action summary of his book, notice how you can use these tips to attract or improve your dating relationship:
How To Win Friends And Influence People: This is Dale Carnegie’s summary of his book, published in 1936
Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Part Two: Six ways to make people like you
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Part Three: Win people to your way of thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.
Part Four: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Dale Carnegie’s classic 1936 book, How to Win Friends And Influence People, has sold over 15 million copies. It was published by Simon and Schuster, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020.
Do you see how you could use these savvy action tips from 1936 to win affection and influence attraction in your dating relationship today?
Do you have a story, a question or comment that could help our friends use these tips to create or improve a relationship? I invite you to share it now, while it’s fresh in your mind, in the comment box below this post.
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,