If you’re still carrying a torch for a lover you haven’t seen in years, you’re about to get some incentive to reconnect. Find out why the best place to look for your best love match may be in your past. And learn 3 ways to locate them and set up a reunion.
Why do we yearn to return to a past lover?
“Returning to a past love is like returning to a former part of ourselves,” says Dr. Nancy Kalish, author of Lost And Found Lovers (William Morrow Publishing).
Reconnecting with an old flame can be a deliberate, assertive way of dealing with grief and regret over a break up. Dr. Kalish is an expert on rekindled romances. She directed the Lost Love Project at California State University and published her findings in Lost and Found Lovers. I’ve summarized these findings:
* Ten percent of the population will fall in love again with someone from the past.
* Rekindled romances have a high success rate, with many couples studied becoming engaged or married
* Divorce rate is very low among reunited couples, only 1.5% compared to a 50% divorce rate for 1st marriages and up to 70% for 2nd or 3rd
* These findings suggest the best place to look for Mr. or Ms. Right may be in your past.
So how do you reconnect with a past lover?
I’d like to suggest three steps that help you make a date for your reunion:
1. Be deliberate as you locate your lost love, without leaving your reunion to chance.
If you’re attending a school reunion and you’re hoping your ex will be there, make a call and set up plans to meet in advance.
2. Use online searching services to help you find your lost love, in the event they’ve moved states or countries.
3. Be clear about your intentions when you reunite.
Let your ex know whether you are reconnecting out of curiosity, to right old wrongs, to make sense of your break up, or to revive the spark of love that made you carry the torch for so long. The odds are in your favor for a positive reunion with your lost love.
What if it’s not possible to reconnect with a former lover because they’re not available?
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Love deeply and live your dreams now,
Hadley Finch