Anger is like fire. You walk in anger and everyone feels the heat. You vent anger on a romantic partner and often lose them. You lose anger and often save relationships.
The fire of anger is your call to action. How you respond determines whether you burn in the alienating fire of anger or in the cleansing fire of love.
What stokes your fire of anger?
Usually it’s a two-letter word. When you’re rocked by flames of fury, you can uncover the source when you ask yourself a simple question. “Who just told me, NO?”
You don’t need to hear the word to receive a NO. There are many silent, ferocious forms of NO, like when you’ve been betrayed, disappointed, abused; and when you’ve been deprived of love, attention, understanding and appreciation by someone you hold dear.
Any behavior that denies love is a silent, inflammatory expression of NO.
Venting your fire of anger on another person is a NO that scorches both of you and disfigures love. Turning the fire of anger against yourself for past missteps or foolish judgment also disables self love and triggers disease.
How do you douse the destructive fire of anger?
You choose to burn in the fire of love instead of anger. Love is a fire that burns up negativity in every form. Love transforms a NO into a YES.
When you start to see each NO through loving eyes, you will discover love lessons you can learn in each instance you were denied love, or that you denied love to others in retaliation.
You will see behaviors that you don’t want to repeat because they block feelings of love. When you refuse to be a burn victim of NO, you diffuse it’s fire in your belly and you empower yourself to find the YES. This is the fiery beacon that guides you onto a loving path.
What if you can’t control flashes of anger?
You can vent your rage on the page by writing angry episodes in a journal or in letters you never mail. Then you can shred the pages into strips, set them on fire safely, and watch your angry NOs burn up in the flames. This fire cleanses each NO and makes room for a YES to take its place.
There are other ways you can disconnect power from angry thought or behavior blocks, including biofeedback, talk therapy, meditation, forgiveness, mindful exercise to release anger with each breath or bead of sweat, and relaxation techniques like hypnosis.
By now, you see how anger expressed can block love and destroy your relationships. Unexpressed anger also can cause disease. The best way to deal with the fire of anger is to spark the Fire Of Love in your belly and in your relationships.
Let us know how this works for you. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment box below.
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Dedicated to our dating and relationship happiness,