Grief Is Good – How To Grieve Lost Love and Celebrate Love That Survives

As mere mortals, we all will face the loss of someone we love either through physical death or the death of relationships. There are two ways to experience lost love:

As we flow down the river of life, we may get stuck on the bank of sorrow while clinging to grief, anger, regret, fear.

Or we can bump into the bank of sorrow and move toward the bank of joy without getting stuck in either one. You may choose your own path of grief.

I didn’t know I had choices in how I could grieve as I lost both parents within 12 months when they were ages 60 and 63. I slammed into the bank of sorrow and couldn’t dig myself out. So I let relentless grief drag me down in my private moments for a long time. I learned the hard way that people who love you aren’t equipped to handle your dark night of the soul when it lasts for months or years.

I hid my grief from my young children so that I could create a joyful atmosphere at home. I revealed my grief to my husband in our private moments. I later realized that my grief may have felt like an unbearable broken record for him. Eventually he gave up waiting for his happy, light-hearted wife to return to his life, and he moved on.

Then I was left to grieve the loss of my husband and my parents. That’s when I finally sought out expert guides in books and courses to support my journey from lost love back into the Fire Of Love. This is how I discovered that grief is good.

I saw how grief opens the doorway to the spiritual and creative realms and ripens you for a rebirth.
I realized that grieving lost love adds salt to old wounds that we can heal to feel whole.
I found comfort in the belief that love never dies, it only changes form.

That’s not just a belief. Einstein proved that everything and everyone is made up of energy which neither can be created nor destroyed. It only changes form. Once I trained my eyes to see love that survives physical death or the death of a relationship, I let that love lift me up. How?

I let the passionate love I’d felt for my husband be transformed into friendly love as we co-parented our children.

When I felt a longing for love I’d lost, I gave more love to my children and to myself. I also made friends with many mother figures to compensate for the loss of mother love. Thusly, I experienced the truth in this secret of feeling whole: Whatever you’re lacking, you give it and it’s gone.

Grief is good when you look at lost love with new eyes. As your heart grieves over love that is lost, your spirit wants to celebrate the love that survives and give thanks for all the faces of love in your life. Being resilient enough to rejoice in the face of grief frees you to flow down the river of life without getting stuck on the bank of sorrow or joy. This is how we pass the toughest Love Test that mere mortals face.

I wrote a song about how grief softens our hearts and helps us love more deeply than ever. I invite you to download “FIRE OF LOVE” as my gift when you visit http://tribeofblondes.com/bonusmusic

While you’re there, feel free to enjoy my entire album. It was inspired by my real-life journey from lost love to the Fire Of Love after my long happy marriage ended. This upbeat lyrical journey may help you–

Love deeply and live your dreams now,

Hadley Finch