There are four essential stages of a dating relationship that must be followed in sequence if you want to create a healthy relationship with lasting love. It doesn’t matter if you meet your special date on internet dating sites, through a matchmaker or by chance. You will sabotage your chances for a deep, loving relationship unless you follow the ideal pace and progression from the moment you meet online or off.
What are the four essential stages of a dating relationship?
I’ll summarize the ideal progression of a dating relationship as it was explained by best-selling author, TV host, and America’s favorite Rabbi Shmuley Boteach during his interview with the President of JDate, a premiere online dating site.
The dating advice that Rabbi Shmuley shares in his book, Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments, transcends religious dogma and touches the heart of every single man and woman seeking true and lasting love. Here are the four essential stages in a dating relationship, courtesy of Rabbi Shmuley:
Stage 1. Attraction
You are mysteriously drawn to someone across the room, or to a photo on an internet dating site. You don’t know their name, interests, hobbies, inner strengths or weaknesses. Hopefully, you are drawn to them for reasons beyond the merely physical shallow and superficial. In stage one, you need to feel compelled by them, as if there is something pushing you toward them.
Stage 2. Verbal Exploration
You begin to explore each other verbally (not physically). You join in conversation to find out the basics about each other–who you are, where you are from, what you do. If you enjoy the chemistry in your initial connection, you naturally progress to the next stage in a dating relationship.
Stage 3. Emotional Intimacy
You begin to tell each other things you haven’t told anyone else. It’s where deep trust and deep togetherness is fostered in the relationship. Once you’ve established a solid emotional bond, you are ready to take your relationship to the next level.
Stage 4. Physical Intimacy
A sexual relationship is the consummation of the first three stages. It’s very important that couples follow these four stages in sequence to create a solid foundation for an enduring relationship with lasting love.
What happens if you progress through these four stages out of order?
Rabbi Shmuley explained the risks if you start with attraction and then go straight to physical intimacy, which is what a lot of couples do before they’ve had a chance to become emotionally intimate.
When you skip over stages two and three, then those stages may never be developed. That third stage, emotional intimacy, might never come and that second stage, verbal exploration, having good communication, it might never come.
So you can’t put these stages out of order if you want to develop a relationship with emotional depth, enduring passion and true love.
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