If you’re still carrying a torch for a lover you haven’t seen in years, you’re about to get some incentive to revive the spark of love. When you learn the risks and rewards of reconnecting with a former lover, you’ll know why the best place to look for your best love match may be in your past.
Why do we yearn to return to a past lover we haven’t seen in years?
“Returning to a past love is like returning to a former part of ourselves,” says Dr. Nancy Kalish, author of Lost And Found Lovers (William Morrow Publishing).
Dr. Kalish says that lost love is a highly emotional and powerful thing. Long after a relationship ends, some people still grieve for what happened or what might have been. Some feel a “physically aching” to be with their lost lover again. Reconnecting with an old flame is a deliberate, assertive way of dealing with that grief and regret.
Dr. Kalish is an expert on rekindled romances. As reported in the Chicago Tribune, her book is based on findings of the Lost Love Project which she directed at California State University. Her study suggests that 10 percent of the population will fall in love again with someone from the past.
What are the risks and rewards of reconnecting with a former lover?
The biggest risk is the break up of your current relationship, if you are not single and available when you reunite with a former lover.
Rekindled romances have a high success rate. The Lost Love Project studied over 1000 couples who had reunited after more than five years apart, and found that 72 percent turned into long-term relationships. Two-thirds resulted in marriage or engagement.
That bond formed long ago often is a strong one. The study found that the divorce rate among reunited couples was only 1.5 percent, suggesting that the best place to look for Mr. or Ms. Right may be in the past.
How do you reconnect with a former lover?
Few people reconnect at reunions or by chance. Dr. Kalish says that most people call or write, usually when
they’re feeling good about themselves.
While some lost lovers reconnect out of curiosity, others search to right old wrongs, or to make sense of a past relationship. Most people, however, search in hopes of re-igniting the passion of that long ago romance.
Researchers like Dr. Kalish confirm that you can revive the spark of love with a former lover and create a happy relationship. If you’re single and yearning for your lost love, this may be your incentive to locate your former lover and set up a reunion now.
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