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Love Tips For Couples. Do You Know How To Cherish Your Spouse?

When you said your marriage vows, you may have made one promise that you don’t know how to keep.  Do you know how to cherish your spouse?  Discover the meaning of this vow and three ways you can use it to rekindle the spark in your relationship.

Let’s Define Your Vow:

Cherish means to hold dear, to treat tenderly, to keep in mind fondly.  It is an action word that is naturally combined with tender emotion in the way you hold, treat and think about your spouse.

Notice how the word spouse sounds dutiful and it lacks emotion?

You may enrich your emotional connection with your spouse when you treat and think of them as your beloved.  We’ve stopped using the term beloved today.  Yet it deserves to be revived and used in each modern relationship, because it encourages you to see your life partner through loving eyes.  This is one way to cherish them.

How Else Do You Cherish Your Beloved?

Embrace A Three-Step Action Plan:

1.  Identify the blocks within you that stop you from acting tenderly and thinking fondly of your beloved.

Are you blaming your spouse for your own lack of tenderness?
Are you waiting for your spouse to change?
Do you focus on what you are not getting in your relationship?
Have you given up hope that you can revive the spark of love and passion?
Do you expect your beloved to live by your rules, desires, beliefs?
Do your actions and expectations bring out the best in your beloved?

Once you recognize your blocks, are you willing to release them and improve your relationship?  If so, move on to Step Two.

2.  Change the way you see your relationship to change the way you experience your relationship

If you have been seeing your relationship as all about you and your needs that aren’t being met, it’s time to flip the switch.  Now you will see your beloved’s needs as your needs, and you will not be happy until your beloved’s needs are met.

If this is a new concept, you may need to seek the answer to some new questions.

Do you know what your beloved needs?  If not, here are some new questions to ask:

What are your dreams that you’d like to fulfill, and how can I help?
What have I failed to do or say in our relationship?
What could I stop doing that would help you feel more loved?
What could I start doing to help you feel more passionate about us?
How can we add more joy and laughter to our life?

Once you’ve asked your beloved these questions, do you find yourself resisting the answers?

Are you willing to let go of your resistance to improve your relationship?  If so, you’re in the right mindset to take Step 3.

3.  Spend One Month Fulfilling Your Beloved’s Needs And See How This Changes Your Relationship

In the first two steps, you have acknowledged that the success of your relationship depends on what you give more than what you receive; and you have discovered several action steps you can take to improve your intimate connection.  Now you will take three of these action steps each day for one month with the intention of increasing the love, joy and passionate connection with your beloved.

When you repeat these new actions every day for one month, they become a new habit. Ideally, your beloved also will accept responsibility for finding out your needs and fulfilling them in new ways as a way to cherish you, too.

If you find that taking new actions and building new habits spark up your relationship in the first month, you may continue to cherish each other happily ever after.

About Hadley Finch

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  1. I must agree with you. I do all of the above and I have been with my wife for 23 Happy years. I have never said a cross word to her and tell her that i love everyday.

  2. If you are in a happy marriage of 23 years, I trust that your wife also acts with loving kindness toward you.
    You know the secret of creating an enchanting relationship that endures. Thanks for sharing your secret!

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