Each year, 2 million people search online for help in surviving a Mid-Life Crisis. Here’s the help you need to not only cure it but also to have a quick, world-class mid-life crisis in this summary of my radio chat for A Lasting Love with Dike Drummond M.D. He’s a family physician and author of ThreeHourMidLifeCrisis.com
HF: Most of us associate a “mid-life crisis” with the cliche’ of middle-age men cheating with young women, buying a flashy sports car and self-destructing like Anthony Weiner or Charlie Sheen. Yet men and women alike can get a case of mid-life crazies that can ruin perfectly good relationships or life as you know it. Will you tell us how a trained medical doctor like you could fall into this common mid-life minefield not once but twice?
DD: First I’d like to reprogram our language about a mid-life crisis so we no longer see it as a minefield, problem or bad thing, but as a time to make a decision to take your life in a different direction. Sometimes you do it on purpose, or other times it happens to you. I’ve experienced it both ways. My first crisis was to stop practicing medicine after 15 years, because that was my mother’s dream for me, not mine.
HF: So you’re saying that making a major decision can be considered a mid-life crisis in a good way, not necessarily a self-destructive thing?
DD: A mid-life crisis can be your decision to take your life on a new path to get new results. This is a decision–which is the root meaning of the word “crisis.”
HF: So it’s an empowering view of the great changes you can make at mid-life or any time in life. What was your second mid-life crisis?
DD: It wasn’t a conscious choice, like my first one. It happened to me when my wife asked me for a divorce after 24 years, and I didn’t see it coming. Within two days, I’d left our family homestead and moved into an apartment with borrowed furniture. So I got a chance to decide what kind of life I wanted to create from that point forward.
HF: My heart breaks when I hear that story, which is so common. In your unvarnished story, did you ever feel devastated by the breakup before you were able to see the silver lining and take your life on an exciting new path?
DD: The only way you wouldn’t feel devastated is if you didn’t have a heart. I had counted on growing old with and caring for this woman and my family in ways that no longer are possible for me now. So I felt a long period of devastation. The challenge is, will you become a victim of the devastation and use it to justify not growing, not continuing to live your life? Or will you see it as your new reality that you take into account as you decide what to do next?
HF: It can take a while for you to move from seeing it as a massive problem to an opportunity to make positive changes in your life, so be good to yourself during the process. This applies to men and women whose mate gets a little crazy in mid-life. What’s the best way to handle powerful mid-life yearnings that can ruin your life if you make the most common mistakes?
You’ll discover how to avoid the 3 most common, catastrophic mistakes in Part 2 highlights of my radio conversation for A Lasting Love with Dike Drummond MD. Or feel free to listen to the whole conversation when you click this link:
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