Texting, sexting and social technology can kill your dating life and destroy your chances of finding genuine love–unless you follow the new rules of dating in the new millennium.
Single men and women will learn how to replace old dating habits that block love with proven dating success strategies you’ll gain in this summary of my radio interview with Vanessa Taylor.
Vanessa is a dating coach for the best-selling book–The Rules: Time tested Secrets of Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right by co-authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. Vanessa wrote the new book, Text. Love. Power.: The Ultimate Girls Relationship Guide for Texting and Dating in the New Millennium.
Hadley Finch: I often say that if a guy wants me to text, it’s NEXT! My daughter says I’m the only one who feels this way. Now there are at least two of us. Your book explains how texting can sabotage your dating life. Give us some examples.
Vanessa Taylor: Women have tendency to view a man’s texts by over interpreting or under interpreting everything he says. She may wonder why he didn’t ask anything personal about her day. She feels like she’s being treated casually, because he’s not picking up a phone to ask her out on a date. She feels angry, because she deserves better treatment from a man. And men are confused when women respond to some texts and not others.
If you want to build a serious dating relationship, you won’t get that result if you connect casually through texting. If you also start sexting, it’s nearly impossible to get a man to stop and see you as a serious girlfriend. So you have two solutions:
Do not text or sext at all and have the service removed from your phone. Or if you must text, do it only to update logistics, like informing someone you’re running late.
Hadley Finch: I agree that texting is a lazy, unsatisfying excuse for communicating. There’s no way to understand sub text or tone of voice. Texted phrases are canvases for you to paint your own meaning on them, often a meaning that wasn’t intended by the textor. For these reasons, texting should be avoided while you’re getting to know a potential love match. What other social technology can sabotage your love quest?
Vanessa Taylor: Your Facebook posts can turn off a potential match if you publish more than 3-4 photos or reveal too much personal information that should come out in private conversations and in live interactions on a date. It’s smarter and more attractive to maintain a sense of mystery by limiting the info you share on the internet, on Facebook and other social networks.
Hadley Finch: We’ve mentioned how we can misinterpret what is written in texts. It’s also easy to fall for the portrait that a single man or woman presents in an online dating profile and in email correspondence after you meet online.
That’s why I encourage singles to move offline quickly, because no connection is real until you meet face-to-face, and look in each others’ eyes–a clear window to the soul–and read tone of voice and body language, and learn to speak your best love language.
It is through up close and personal interactions that you develop authentic intimacy in a relationship and create a foundation of fun that can hold you together in tough times.
What are other new rules in dating that help you create a red-hot relationship with lasting love?
You’ll discover these new rules of dating in Part 2 highlights of my interview with Vanessa Taylor.
Get all the happy, sexy love you desire,