In Part 1, you discovered how texting, sexting, facebook and social technology can kill your dating life and destroy your chances of finding Great Love. In Part 2, you learned whether there are valid reasons for a woman to call or pursue a man for a serious relationship, according to the best-selling dating bible, The Rules. Now you’ll discover how to give clues that you’re interested in a sexual relationship, gain health benefits of sexual healing and meet your perfect match on dating sites in this summary of my radio interview with Vanessa Taylor.
Vanessa is a dating coach for the best-selling book–The Rules: Time tested Secrets of Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right by co-authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. Vanessa also wrote the new book, Text. Love. Power.: The Ultimate Girls Relationship Guide for Texting and Dating in the New Millennium.
Hadley Finch: Some men tell me that it’s difficult to know for sure whether a woman wants to go out with him. Here are some reliable clues:
She’ll answer the phone when he calls.
She says YES when you invite her on a date.
She laughs often and has fun on your dates.
She’s always available for Saturday night dates. If she’s unavailable, she’ll say, “I’d love to but I can’t. Feel free to call me again.”
Will you give men some sure-fire clues that a woman is not interested in going out with him?
Vanessa Taylor: She’s not answering or returning his calls. She doesn’t accept any of his date requests. While it’s good for a man to be persistent, he shouldn’t waste his time when he receives enough clues that she’s not interested.
If he continues to persist and she later changes her mind and accepts a date, she’s probably settling by going out with him. Not a sign of a good match.
Hadley Finch: Opponents of The Rules say they’re outdated and anti feminist. What’s your response to that criticism?
The Rules encourage a woman to recognize her own value and set boundaries to only be with men who value her enough to pursue her. The Rules isn’t about always getting a date or being popular. It’s about choosing your best mate and father for your children from the men who want you enough to pursue you.
Hadley Finch: What about women who tell men their troubles and talk to a man like a friend, like Elaine in Seinfeld? Tell us The Rules for turning a Friend into a Boyfriend.
Vanessa Taylor: A man has to want more than friendship for that to work. In “Seinfeld,” Jerry never wanted Elaine beyond friendship, so he didn’t respond to her hints that she wanted more.
In “Friends” Chandler often gave Monica clues that he was sexually attracted to her. She playfully ignored his clues rather than turning him down and ending their friendship. Mutual sexual attraction gradually developed, because Chandler gave their strong friendship time to grow into a romance. He had to want a sexual relationship with her to be a great mate.
Hadley Finch: Today, many couples meet on dating sites and begin a long distance relationship. In the dating site I created for Resilient Optimists Who Believe In Great Love, I encourage men and women to date near and far, so geography doesn’t block Great Love. How do The Rules apply to meeting a long-distance love on dating sites?
Vanessa Taylor: I also recommend that you stay open to meeting a long-distance match. According to The Rules, the man must come to the woman. He should initiate a meeting right away. If he doesn’t, she may think he only wants a pen pal instead of a relationship.
Hadley Finch: Once a couple enters a relationship, how do you use The Rules to keep things fresh and exciting?
Vanessa Taylor: She should continue to use The Rules by not calling him at work all the time. She should remain easy to be with, without nagging, because she stays busy doing things she loves rather than expecting him to make her happy. She continues to show an active interest in sex with him, if she wants to create a happy relationship that lasts.
Hadley Finch: If a couple wants to enjoy the health and longevity benefits of sexual healing, you need to be in a committed relationship and make love at least two to three times every week. This not only deepens intimacy and undying love, it also can extend your life since studies show that happy couples tend to outlive single folks.
Get all the happy, sexy love you desire,