Don’t get fired from your marriage like I did. When I met and married my husband soon after college, I believed love was enough to hold us together forever. Sadly, I was wrong. After two decades of a happy marriage, things suddenly fell apart. Since my divorce I’ve studied and worked with top experts so I can help you create an enchanting relationship with lasting love.
Relationships, like businesses, must be designed for long-term success. You’re about to discover how to use winning business success tools to create life-long love in a great relationship, as I summarize my chat with Dr. John Curtis–author of The Business Of Love–How Too Have A Marriage Built To Last!
With a divorce rate reaching nearly 60 percent, too many of us are getting fired from our marriage because we don’t have the love skills needed for success. Will you explain how couples can create a solid foundation for lasting love by writing a marital vision statement?
A vision statement is a 25 to 50 word description in bold goals and lofty language of what you see for your relationship. It’s an ideal you work towards but you may never fully achieve.
Write it individually first. Then compare it with your partner’s and combine the best features for a vision which you each endorse wholeheartedly.
A great model is the vision statement for our country in the pledge of allegiance: One Nation, under God. Indivisible. With liberty and justice for all.
So we should keep it short and be clear about the attitudes and action steps that lead to success. And then how do we hold each other accountable for fulfilling our vision for our marriage?
First you create your vision statement for the broad, big picture. Next you create a marital job description of the daily tasks, duties and roles each of you have agreed to perform to help you fulfill your vision.
In the old days dividing tasks was simple. There was man’s work outside the home and woman’s work inside the home. Now with both partners often working 8 or more hours a day, couples must divide the home work by competency and preference to make life fair. You can rotate unpleasant tasks each week so no one feels burdened.
How does sex fit into a marital job description?
“If guys want more sex, they need to do more housework because women tend to reward their husbands with sex when they help with chores,” John says.
I encourage couples to add frequent sex to your marital job description. If you commit to being an enthusiastic lover with your mate at least twice a week, then you reap the health benefits of sexual healing which adds happy years to your life and marriage.
I also say there’s no excuse for boring sex. You can take turns adding surprises and exploring tantric sex which unites couples in body, mind and spirit during lovemaking.
John says that tracking progress in your marriage with a job description deepens intimacy when you talk openly about issues or duties you like or dislike.
Feeling greater intimacy gets women in the mood to make love. Whereas most men need to have sex before they can feel intimacy. So fulfilling your marital job description is a great way to build intimacy and romance.
What are the top two things you need as a foundation for a successful long-term marriage?
You need romantic attraction and emotional maturity to deal with issues as they arise and handle feedback on your behavior without getting upset. It takes maturity to make and keep a commitment to your partner.
Since one out of four men and one out of five women have an affair within the first few years of marriage, that’s a sign that we need to grow up emotionally and understand that commitment means saying YES to your partner and NO to temptations.
John often tells men that commitment is like buying a car knowing that it is the last new car you’ll ever buy. You can’t trade it in after a few years. You’ll be driving it until death parts you.
That makes me cringe, knowing many men who never would give up a new car now and then. Instead of feeling stuck driving an old clunker, I recommend that you add surprises and have more fun together to keep things exciting and feeling new. That should be part of your marital job description.
How do you evaluate job performance in a marriage?
John advises couples to discuss these issues when they evaluate each others a marital job performance. Once or twice a year you can rate each other 1 to 3 in writing about how you are doing in each task, job or role you had agreed to perform in your job description.
I recommend that you take the pulse of your relationship every week or two, over a favorite beverage or in front of the fire. This pleasant ritual can nudge you back on track before you veer too far off.
It also gives you more chances to compliment and show appreciation for all the good things you do for each other to promote your health, happiness and love in a marriage built to last.
Your Relationship Success Journal
Will you write a marital vision statement and job description and review your marital job performance with your partner every couple months? If so, list these success tools in your journal.
Remember to note your progress each time you use winning success tools to create a great relationship with lasting love.
If you have a question or comment about writing a marital vision statement and job description and reviewing marital job performance, please submit it now in comment box.
And I’d like to give you the relationship success tools you need to create a great marriage or recruit your perfect partner if you’re single, and build better relationships with children, co-workers, clients and everyone in your life. Begin your exciting program now at GreaterSuccessAndLove.com
Love deeply and live your dreams now,