After you’ve taken steps you discovered in Part One to heal your grief over losing your beloved partner, you may feel ready to find love again. Why do people warn you not to dive into a new relationship too soon? How do you know when it’s too soon or the perfect time to start dating to find love after losing a spouse?
Discover the answers in Part Two highlights of my radio interview for A Lasting Love with Carole Brody Fleet, a young widow who wrote about grief recovery in the books, Widows Wear Stilettos and Happily Even After.
Hadley: Every grieving woman and man moves through grief in their own time, in their own way. Let’s talk about how you know that you’re ready to stop grieving and start dating.
Carole: You can’t go through a major life-altering experience of loss and come out the same person. I miss my pre-widow Carole, who was lighter, more frivolous, less fearful of losing again.
Hadley: The key is to feel your fear and move forward anyway. See your fear as a dark cloud floating through the blue sky. You are the blue sky, so let the dark cloud pass by without clinging to it. Then it can’t paralyze you or hold you back. Find the silver linings in what you did go through, but let the fear fleet away.
Carole: That’s a great way to see it. I also looked at the illness took my husband, our future, our happy family life. I realized I had the power to say, “No. You’ve taken everything you’re can take from me. No more.” I decided I would not give in to fear and anxiety another moment. If I had allowed that loss of my husband and my old life to control my new life, I wouldn’t have met my new husband and been blessed with another daughter.
Hadley: So you celebrate your growth and blessings that remain in your life, even when you’re burdened with grief.
Carole: I also made a time to grieve every day. I allowed myself a half-hour to pray, or take a bubble bath and cry or get angry. After a while, I needed less time to grieve. I also recommend that you put yourself in a like community of supportive people who can lift you up and get you through grief. Try different grief groups until you find one you like.
Hadley: How did you know you were ready to start dating again?
Carole: I got to the place where I could talk to my late husband, Mike, and tell him that he’d moved on, so I will too. I told him I’ll honor his legacy of love every day, even as I started dating. He even told my mother that he wanted me to find love again.
Hadley: That’s the most loving gift you can get from the person who is forced to leave you too soon. Let’s make sure you don’t dive into a new marriage too soon, which has nothing to do with time but emotional readiness.
I encourage men and women to take solitary period of reflection and self care to discover the new you, because the new you will want new things in a new relationship. If you settle down with someone while you’re grieving, they may want you to stay in a vulnerable state, they may be threatened if you grow through grief and become the person you’re meant to be. This can lead to a frustrating, suffocating relationship and more heartbreak since it’s a big reason that a new marriage fails.
Carole: Men often jump into a new relationship sooner than women. I also recommend that men and women wait a little while to get to know who you are post loss.
Hadley: And once you discover the new you, you may feel ready to find love again. I personally guide your love quest with expert advice and exciting love skills to choose your best match and get the passionate intimacy and undying devotion you deserve in a relationship. Take a FREE look around of my guest of TribeOfSingles Guided Love Quest.
And I also help you get over the pain of lost love and get back on the happiness track where you belong in my new book, 911 Breakup Survival-The Fastest, Surest Remedies To Heal Heartbreak and Get All The Love and Happiness you deserve. Don’t suffer another moment. Get my book and start reading now.
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