“Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, ‘Make me feel important.’ Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.”  Mary Kay Ash

“The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.”  Dale Carnegie

In a short conversation, optimum attention should be paid to connecting and developing a basic level of resonance. Relationships are predicated on positive feelings and mutuality. Creating fast, powerful connection empowers influence, likability and quality relationships. People enjoy working with and spending time with those they know, like and trust. Your everyday goal should be to be RICH (Realize I Create Happiness).

·        Leave a strong, positive impression. Impressions are based on verbal and nonverbal signals. These occur and are strongly ingrained within the first ninety seconds. Smiles; body language; posture; animation and mannerisms are crucial. These are followed by auditory cues including tone, articulation and sound signals. Words follow. Happy, positive, optimistic, assured communication creates positive magnetism. Feelings are contagious. Be sure yours are worth catching.

·        Focus and pay attention. Making someone feel that they are interesting and valued comes through avoiding distractions and focusing. Pay attention to the complete communication package. Listen… hear head and heart messages.

·        Ask quality questions. Questions are a key tool for bonding and relationship building. They demonstrate interest and create connection. Good questions invite response while avoiding being intrusive. They call for information and look for common topics. Having an assortment of well thought out, engaging probes invites stories, amplification and friendships.

·        Take an active interest in the topic of their choice. Common ground supports likability. Invite others to choose a topic. Display interest through verbal and nonverbal attention. Ask for amplification and pay attention to both head and heart responses.

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·        Be a supportive, active listener. Confirm, capture and clarify information. Interject instead of interrupting. Encourage sharing by verbal and nonverbal signals. Be the listener people want to talk to.

·        Have a genuine interest in learning and improvement. Be real. Have a genuine desire to learn and improve. Accept the expertise of others and be willing to learn. Conversations are an incredible venue to learn and grow.

·        Make differences and disclosure safe (be sensitive, appreciative, tolerant and safe). Non-judgmental, friendly, accepting people are much easier to talk to and connect with. They are safe to share opinions and self-disclose.

·        Be positive, up-beat, optimistic and encouraging. Positive people facilitate success. They praise and encourage. Emotions are contagious. Positive, warm people have a set of emotions worth catching. It feels good to talk to them.

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·        Personalize and use their name. One size never fits all. Customize conversations. Use people’s names. Generate personal connection and rapport by sharing at a higher level. Like the people you talk to. Look for positives. Send signals that you’re glad you met them. Make a strong impression.

·        Apply the Platinum Rule. Treat other people like they want to be treated. Take time to observe their signals. They’ll tell you about personality, attitude and a lot more. These keys tell you about topics, communication styles and a wide array of things. Connect with them in a way they enjoy the connection.

·        Make them feel meaningful and significant. Show respect and express value. Let others feel important. Take the time to let them make a difference… and thank them for it.

·        Follow up and follow through. Information sets the stage for continuing interaction. If you made promises or some type of commitment, be sure to follow through. Take the initiative to continue the relationship. Follow up with a call or email. Take the time to add quality.

Follow the 12 rules to make a better impression and enhance relationships. Focus on quality and value.

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About the Author: Bob Jerus, SPHR

Bob is the author of Mind Matters: Applying Emotional Intelligence for Personal and Professional Success and the founder of Success Dynamics International, the provider of the EIQ-2™ emotional intelligence learning and performance development systems and emotional intelligence certification. He is a frequent speaker at public and private engagements. Bob has taught business, psychology and adult development at various universities. He has worked as a counselor in marriage and family therapy. As a consultant, coach and trainer, he has worked with Fortune 500 Organizations and aspiring entrepreneurs.

For speaking, training, coaching, certification, CEU’s and all your performance needs, email RJerus@Success-Dynamics.Org. or call 863 353 8070. We are dedicated to creating resilience, engagement and drive for individuals, teams, and organizations…. Emotional intelligence is good sense, good value and real development.

Certification Accredited by: HRCI (Human Resource Certification Institute) {for GPHR, SPHR & PHR); SHRM (Society of Human Resource Management) (for SHRM-CP; SHRM-SCP); ATD (Association for Talent Development) (for CPLP); and ICF (International Coaching Federation) (for ACC, PCC and MCC certifications).