A success secret in dating to find love and repel the wrong matches lies in understanding the human energy field and the mysterious energy exchange between men and women while you’re dating or creating a relationship built to last.
Discover how to tune up your energy to sort through mismatches and attract your great love match in highlights of my radio interview for A Lasting Love with David Price Francis. David is a renowned energy scholar from Oxford University and author of Partners In Passion.
Hadley: We agree that active listening is one of the greatest gifts of love you can give. To be aware of energy, behavior, tone of voice, to find meaning under the words someone says improves understanding and deepens connections. Let’s say you’ve used active listening while dating to sort through mismatches and choose your best love match. What’s the energetic secret to powerful, lasting attraction, romance and love?
David: There are two levels to this. The first level is attraction automatic. It deals with two people living their life and collecting energies throughout their life and then their energies draw them together. I call this destinic attraction, which deals with two energy fields that are pre-loaded. And when you meet, both people feel like you’ve met the one, your soulmate.
The second level is more important. It’s the level of partners in purpose, which is a level up from partners in passion. It’s how people create a relationship energy field that is mutually satisfying.
Instead of saying, ‘They lived happily ever after,” they should say, “And then the work begins,” because it’s work to build a lasting relationship. It’s enjoyable work.
Hadley: Especially if you use exciting love tools to build the relationship of your dreams.
David: It is an investment of energy and time and a deliberate decision about what kind of energy field people want to create between them. It deals with shared goals and dreams. It requires communication to take an I and an I and make WE. There’s a sharing of what you want in your life, even making lists
Hadley: If you and your partner connect to a higher purpose for your relationship, then little things roll off your back. Because your life together is far bigger than the small stuff.
Dating singles and committed couples will want the answer to this question. What are 3 tests of time that a long term relationship must meet?
David: This is a journey of discovery over time. I wondered for years about the 7 year itch, is it real or mythologically. I realized certain relationships are only skin deep. Skin replaces itself every 28 days. When we hoover the house, we’re actually cleaning up the skin we shed.
If a relationship can’t survive the first 28 day moon cycle, then it’s like people go for a test drive, kick the tires and decide this relationship doesn’t work. That’s the first test of time.
Hadley: And that’s okay if you both decide it’s not a good match. It’s okay to move on and find a better match. There’s nothing wrong with that.
David: The 28 day cycle is found in rehabilitation centers. You want a relationship that’s more than skin deep, the first test of time.
The second test is the 7 year itch, which is 28 seasons–planetary seasons instead of the 28 day cycle of the moon.
After 7 years a woman can look at a man and say, “You’re not the man I married.” It’s true, because every cell in his body has been replaced in 7 year cycle.
For something to get reestablished at end of 7 years, it needs to be rebuilt consistently in first 7 years. If not, many relationships succumb to the 7 year itch. That’s when a different partner looks more attractive. That doesn’t happen if you’ve built a deep foundation.
The only part of us not subject to 28 day cycle is the brain stem, the brain, the eyes and the eggs in the women. Everything else is replaced.
If you get wedded in common purpose and common interest, then it lifts you up and holds you together after the 7 year itch.
Hadley: You can make choices that unite you in a common purpose later in a relationship, to build a solid foundation, even if you didn’t start your relationship this way.
What’s the third test of time for a relationship?
David: The third test is the next 28 years. It’s four sets of seven cycles. It’s amazing how many relationships come unglued in the 28 year Saturnian cycle. That’s the time when a person looks at the direction for the rest of their life. It’s a time of transformation and change.
It’s also a time, a crisis point, that many celebrities, like Amy Winehouse, don’t survive. The press talked about The 27 Club–how the singer from the doors, Janis Joplin, pass away. It’s not the 27 club, because it’s their 28th year. It’s there in a relationship and in your individual life. Many famous people can’t get through this crisis point.
Hadley: A crisis can be the catalyst for a rebirth and transformation, if you learn to see it this way.
David: If you can build fresh and renew at the 28 year mark. In my marriage, we took a new look at everything, so we can get through the next 28 year mark.
Hadley: That’s excellent advice for couples who want to revitalize their relationship. What’s your best tip for singles to use energy dating to find love?
David: My best tip is to sing your own song. Sing it strongly. If someone is to find your frequency, then you need to be singing your own song.
If you try to match someone elses song or frequency, then it’s never as sweet. Being authentic inside your own life, sends out a static free signal so your soulmate hears your clear tune.
My second tip is to listen and register what someone is saying. If you’re on your authentic frequency, you’ll attract a similar match who just might end up sitting beside you by chance. Pay attention to coincidences.
Hadley: Be aware whenever you go outside. Notice if someone’s looking at you and smiling. It could be the great love match you are seeking, who’s seeking you also.
Hadley: Do you have a energy tip to help couples have more sex and more fun with your partner?
David: Inside a long-lasting relationship, it’s crucial to have set dates and times to turn off cell phones and have a date night. There’s preparation for it, marshaling two energies to be together and be more present, without dangling energies cluttering your focus. It’s good to clear the clutter and clear enough time to be present for each other.
Hadley: Do this only if you want powerful attraction and love to last a lifetime.
Get all the happy, sexy love you desire,
What if your relationship didn’t survive these 3 tests of time?