Episode 46 – Love Test–Ready To Commit?

Let’s say you’re in a great dating relationship with a highly compatible match in all important areas. Are you ready to commit? Is your date? How do you find out without ruining your casual connection? You and your date can take this Love Test.

A Love Test For You–
How do you know if you’re ready to commit to an exclusive, monogamous relationship?

Ask yourself these 3 questions:

Does the thought of commitment feel like a noose around your neck?

Do you think of all the dating delights you will miss if you commit to your current lover?

Would you feel like the cage door were closing and your wings were being clipped?

If you answered YES to any question, you’re not emotionally ready to commit.

This may not have anything to do with the wonderful person you are dating. Your stressful feelings about commitment are signs that you yearn for personal freedom and growth that often comes from serial dating.

If you answered NO to those three questions, you may be ready to commit to the right person. Ask yourself some questions about your dating partner:

Are you clearly seeing more strengths than flaws in your dating partner and the way you two interact?

Do you see the two of you working through life’s challenges and enjoying mundane pleasures of daily life?

Do you feel moments of a sublime connection in which you lose track of time, space and a sense of separate selves?

Would you happily give up the chance to date anyone else if your current dating relationship moves from casual to committed?

If you answered YES to the one or more questions on this Love Test, you are ready to explore the possibility of a committed relationship. Is your date feeling the same way?

How do you find out if your date may be ready to commit without ruining your great casual connection?

Unfortunately, you may not be able to. You run the risk of making your date run, if you ask about their vision for your relationship. Is it worth that risk?

Consider what’s best for your well being. Is your biological clock tickling loudly? Do you feel your time is precious and you don’t want to waste it in a relationship that doesn’t have future potential?

If so, it may be in your best interests to have the commitment conversation and face the consequences early in your dating relationship.

What is the best way to ask about commitment?

Avoid all-or-nothing ultimatums. Most of us don’t respond well to commands or controlling partners who issue them.

You might start the conversation saying how much you enjoy getting to know each other and you’d like to spend more time together over the next few months to see if you both see serious potential for your relationship. Then pay close attention to the response you receive.

If you sense more resistance than positive vibes, this relationship may not have a future or it’s unfolding too slowly for you.

If you’d rather find this out sooner than later, consider asking your date to make a choice.
You might say that you don’t feel the desire to date anyone else. Ask your date if they feel the same way about you.
If they do, then a committed relationship is the natural next step.
If your date wants to keep dating you and other people, then you must decide if that works for you.

Could you make a better use of your precious time and emotional energy by meeting and dating someone who feels ready to make a commitment with the right person?
If that’s what you decide, you will end this relationship and move forward. Some singles aren’t ready to commit until they meet someone they don’t want to lost. You want a mutual click into commitment if you want to create a happy long-term relationship. As you meet new people, it’s smart to ask what they’re looking for in your initial dates, so you find out if you have compatible dating goals that lead to a happy, committed relationship.

And if you’d like to meet positive, commitment-minded singles, I invite you to enjoy a FREE month membership in the elite dating site and travel club I started at TribeOfSingles.com. Meet savvy singles in cozy video chats and singles travel for every budget when you click SINGLES CLUB in the menu bar and sign up now. Enjoy!

Dedicated to our dating and relationship happiness,

Hadley Finch