If you’re alert and tuned into your mate, you may find it hard to believe that Mrs. Bernie Madoff insists she had no idea that her husband was having a 20-year affair or stealing millions from his community of investors. How can a mate hide their dark secrets for decades? Learn how to uncover clues to whether your mate deserves your trust when you take this Love Test.
Love Test – Is Your Mate Hiding A Secret Life?
1. Innocent until proven guilty?
Do you normally see the best in your mate?
Have you offered them your total trust and faith?
Do you have free access to each others emails?
Do you combine your earnings and share in expenses?
Do you each have free access to all financial accounts and records?
Do you freely discuss your fears, failures, dreams, successes?
Do you know each others friends, family and colleagues?
Do you stay in frequent contact throughout the day, even when traveling separately?
Are your passions being fed and emotional needs being met in your relationship?
Do you ever discuss a desire to give into an attractive temptation outside your relationship?
Do you deal with issues as they arise until you’re each happy with the resolution?
Do you consider each others feelings before you make important decisions?
Do you view life’s challenges as a chance for growth as individuals and as a couple?
If you answered Yes to all of the above, you have little reason to suspect that your mate is hiding a secret life.
You have laid the foundation for freedom in communication, kindness and passionate chemistry in your relationship.
The ideal is to freely give and receive your trust and love when you commit to a relationship and nurture lasting love.
2. What if a detective analyzed these clues?
Does your mate say and do all the right things, but you don’t always trust it in your gut?
Have you noticed a series of unexplained charges or unexpected absences?
Has there been a change in their exercise, diet or grooming routines?
Do you ever question call records to new numbers and get answers that don’t make sense?
Do you feel suspicious your mate has private email or voicemail accounts?
Is it hard to gain access or answers about earnings, expenses, investments as a couple?
Do you feel you’re doing all the giving and being overlooked or underappreciated?
Does your mate invent reasons to criticize you more than ever before?
Has your frequency and intensity of intimacy changed?
Do you dream you’ve lost something valuable, but you’re not sure what it is?
If you answered Yes to one or more of these questions, you have ample reason to suspect that your mate could be hiding a dark side or secret life. The antidote?
Shed some light on these issues by discussing them between the two of you or by seeking couple’s coaching. Choose an expert with a successful track record in helping couples grow through rocky times, or facilitating a smooth divorce if a marriage can’t survive the discovery of a secret life.