Most of us enter a relationship hoping the love and excitement will last forever. Then we get distracted or defeated by life’s challenges and the relationship fails.
Don’t stay in a lifeless relationship. Start using the love skills that help you thrive as a couple against all odds. Singles also can create an extraordinary life with the tools you’ll discover in highlights of my radio interview with Dr. Debra Reble, a couples counselor and author of the book, Soul-Hearted Partnership.
How does a soul-hearted partnership differ from a regular relationship?
In a soul-hearted partnership you and your partner strive for personal and spiritual growth. You connect on a soul level with deep level of intimacy, and you combine your energies as a powerful force for each other and the world.
In choosing a partner, you have to be the change, be the light, be the love that you seek because you attract what you give off. So it’s important to be more self loving, accepting and appreciative of ourselves; then we exude an energy that attracts someone who is doing the same things.
The goal is to attract our soul mate?
There’s a misconception that we only have one soul mate. We have many soul-mates, including friends, children and family members who stay in our lives for a while or a lifetime. Our soul-hearted partner also is a soul mate for a lifetime, because you are committed to working through every issue and thriving as a team.
What other love skills do couples need to connect on a soul level?
See yourselves and each other clearly. In the movie AVATAR, they say, “I see you.” They look in each others eyes and communicate intimacy without words–looking and seeing the other person’s essence for who they really are. It’s like soul-gazing because when you look into someone’s eyes you see a window to their soul. This opens your heart to each other.
How do you open your heart if it’s guarded because you’ve been hurt?
In a private daily exercise, you can put your hand on your chest and visualize your heart is a rose that is budding and opening. Do this a minute each day, especially if you’re in a bout of lost love or suffering through jealousy and heartbreak. Then you will feel your heart blooming more and more so you are ready to love again.
What are some new ways to deal with jealousy?
Jealousy is a symptom of insecurity. It’s important to recognize your jealousy and see how you communicate it through insecure behavior. You may bicker, become defensive, nitpick or shut down with your partner. It’s important to talk about these issues of why you’re feeling insecure as your partner listens without criticizing or judging. Then your partner repeats what you’ve said to let you know they understand you.
When the jealousy stems from an act that’s hard to forgive like a betrayal, we have to remember that we are part of the relationship that created the environment in which the betrayal occurred. This stops the tendency to blame and criticize your partner for betrayal because you look inside to see how you contributed to it. Jealousy can lead to soul growth when you face it and heal the cause of it.
What if the relationship is abusive or depressive?
The number one priority is to take care of your own well being first and be your own soul-hearted partner. If you and a life your partner can’t resolve recurring issues that consistently hurt you, then you may need to part with unconditional love and respect.
How do you end a relationship with love and respect?
By owning up to choices that harmed each other and by asking for forgiveness. If you need help in healing old grievances, you can use meditation or hypnosis to remove the negative charge from those wounding memories. You don’t erase the memories but you no longer have negative feelings attached to it.
You can use a guided mediation when an professional leads you into a relaxed state to the negative incidents that caused old wounds. When the feelings or images you’re holding there arise, then you are guided to see yourself making better choices and responding in more positive ways. This helps you let go of the troubling incidents and energy and replace it with trusting loving energy which dissolves any grievance.
How do you invite a miracle of love into your life?
A miracle is made of energy. Inviting miracles is trusting that you are the energetic source of the miracle. You can harness the energy of your higher power or source and focus the energy on your intentions to bring them into being.
When you set your intention, the secret is to act as if it’s already fulfilled and give thanks for it. For example, if you’re single and seeking a soul-hearted partner, you see and feel yourself in that loving relationship. Know how it would it look and feel. If you walk into starbucks, you order two coffees instead of one. If you have a two-car garage, you leave one space open for your future partner.
It’s not the acts; it’s the energy you’re giving off. You walk through your life knowing you already are your loving partner and it would be lovely to share your joy with a beloved.
How do you improve an unhappy relationship?
Acknowledge your differences and play with them. Differences that bring us together at first can erode a relationship unless you play a dance of differences and let each person flourish. If you don’t do this, then you nitpick and bicker and your relationship is in trouble.
Remember that the little things do matter. Knowing what your partner loves and giving it to them regularly is how you tell your partner, “I see you. I hear you. I love you and I know what you love.”
Ideally you will do loving little things for yourself and your partner each day for a lifetime.
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Love deeply and live your dreams now,