I’m 37 but I feel like a teenager in love with the first man I met after my divorce. He’s got all the good qualities of my ex and none of the bad, so he’s a perfect mate for me.
As soon as I told him this, he stopped asking me out after 3 great months of dating. Last week I invited him over while my kids stayed with their dad. Right after we made love, he made a lame excuse for not spending the night. As he left, I told him I can’t survive another break up.
He said we can’t break up if we aren’t in a relationship. That felt like a knife in my heart. I can’t sleep or eat, like when my husband left me. I can’t stand being alone. I’m afraid I’ll die from another broken heart if I don’t stop this break up. How do I win him back fast?
I feel your emotional stress and I’m concerned about potential risks to your health. People can die of a broken heart. Since you mentioned this fear twice, I urge you to see a cardiologist to make sure your emotional stress hasn’t damaged your heart. The medical tests will either ease your fears or identify a heart issue that you must correct right away.
Next it’s important to identify the cause of your emotional stress and reverse it. I doubt the cause is another break up nor the cure winning him back.
Many newly-divorced adults cling to the first person you meet, as if they are the perfect person to heal your grief over a failed marriage.
Most dating singles will run when you place that heavy burden on their shoulders. This is not your mistake; it’s a choice with a love lesson attached.
What’s the love lesson?
You already hold the secret salve that heals your broken heart. It’s healthy self love. It can be a challenge to regain it after you’ve been abandoned by a mate whom you thought you would love for the rest of your life.
Your emotional pain urges you to open the door to personal growth, which often needs a period of solitary reflection to occur. Letting go of your old angst and your old life and making room for your new life and love are a process of rebirth into your single life. Grow through it and you will love the person you are becoming.
What if you need a little help?
You may need a life coach, counselor or daily writing in your journal to help you uncover the love lessons in your divorce. The goal is to accept your role in it so you don’t repeat it in your next relationship. When you revive a healthy self love, your heart is free and fit to love again and attract a new love who wants to create a healthy, happy relationship with you.
And if you or your single friends are seeking your best love match, I invite you to enjoy a free months membership in our Singles Club.
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Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,