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Dating Q & A – How Do I Stop Being The Cook For My Date?

Dating Question:

While recovering from an injury, I got in the habit of eating organic produce, wild-caught fish, grass fed meat and drinking organic wine. It’s nearly impossible to find this high-quality food in restaurants, so I often invite my dates over for a home-cooked meal.

For the past few months, my Friday night dinner guest has been a recently-divorced man in his 50’s who contributes a bottle of wine to each meal I prepare. It’s a lovely ritual that has become a rut.

He’s never asked me out on a real date where he picks me up and takes me out for an evening’s entertainment as his guest.

One night, he invited me to a nice meal at his place where he said that cooking is how we show our love for each other. That’s true, once you’re in a committed relationship.

I know financial times are tough for both of us, but I know a man can plan a fun date night for a low cost. Without being rude, how do I suggest the idea so I can stop being the cook for my date?

Dating Answer:

You’ve established a delightful dating pattern with a man who likes your home cooking. I suggest you ease out of this pattern next Friday, by asking your date to bring the wild-caught fish or grass fed meat plus your favorite bottle of wine, and you’ll prepare the rest of the meal. Be sure to ask him to do the dishes with you after each dinner.

If he’s just a weekly dinner guest, he may see you as a friend who feeds him well. He may not think you’re dating. It’s time to find out what’s going on between you.

It’s not rude, it’s being honest to tell him your true feelings–if we are dating then I would like you to plan a night out now and then. Be sure to watch his reaction.

Does he ignore your request? Does he say he sees you as a friend? Does he suggest a few date ideas he can afford?
Based on his response, you will know whether you want to continue seeing this date without dating, or start meeting other men on your dating wavelength.

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Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,

Hadley Finch

About Hadley Finch

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