Dating Question: The good news is I’ve forgiven my former husband and myself for all the mean things we said and did to each other while our marriage was falling apart six years ago. The bad new is I’d still like to wring the neck of the baby woman who’d worked long hours beside him and seduced a man twice her age into an affair, knowing he had a wife and young children at home.
His 20ish mistress said she wouldn’t continue dating him unless he moved out of the family home to be with her, which he did. When she wanted to marry him and have babies, he broke up with her so she left the company. He’s now happily married to a woman his own age. I’m happily driving our kids to all their activities, with little time or desire to date.
In my alone time, I often wonder what ever happened to his young mistress. Has she had affairs with other married men at her new company? Has she ever feel any remorse for stealing my husband? Does she mention her lack of moral fiber to each new man in her life? Will her husband cheat on her someday as payback for her karmic debt? Will I finally feel better if I track her down and confront her with my questions?
Dating Answer: You just confronted her by writing down your thoughts that are heavy with blame and pain. You’ll feel better when you release your negative energy, which is stopping you from loving again. You clearly want to teach this young woman some lessons, yet her role and your husband’s role in your break up are their love lessons to discover–without your help.
All you need to do is learn the love lessons from your own role in your break up, so that you know how to love better when you enter a new relationship. What you send out there comes back to you, so it’s time to release the negative energy you’re sending her way.
Let it burn in the fire of love–literally.
First, rip up this note in which you confronted her on paper. Then place the paper shreds in a fireplace or fire-proof container. Now strike a match so the paper catches fire and burns up the resentful bond that tied you to her. You might feel a weight lifted like smoke rising from the flame of forgiveness.
As you watch your painful thoughts burn up in flames, say this out loud: “I send you blessings and love. I receive blessings and love.” Repeat this till you feel the healing power of loving thoughts.
If she ever comes to mind in the future, remember that you control your thoughts. You always can send her blessings and love, so they come right back to you. This is how you replace a six year habit of negative thinking with a new loving habit that releases your pain and frees you to love again. Since like attracts like, you’ll attract a loving partner like a love magnet.
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Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,